my wife was abused by previous boyfriends, now our sex life is suffering. How can we fix it?
My wife was sexually abused (basically raped) by previous boyfriends in her past. Now she has trouble connecting on a sexual level. We have sex maybe once a month because she knows that it makes me happy, but I don't like how it still seems like she is being forced to do something she doesn't want to. I have always been patient with her and never pressured her, but sometimes it feels so bad not to be able to be so close to her.
How can my wife eliminate this sexual wall she built to try to keep from being hurt again?
She doesn't really like me hitting on her in sexual ways because she gets very self concious about being looked at that way. When we do have sex it is great, but we can never begin to try new things because we don't have it enough and therefore our tolerance to allow it to last longer than fifteen minutes to a half hour.
Can anyone help us? We want to get our passion back. I am afriad that if we don't then one day something tragic will pull us apart because the passion and intimacy is what keeps couples close and growing together.
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