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437036 tn?1225284804

orgasms.. guys... girls

ok

so i have a boyfriend and i love him so much
... except i have NEVER actually had an orgasm..
not with him
and not 'proper' with anyone.
i have had them in my dreams though
( as weird as this may sound....)

BUT...

something new has popped up
there is this girl at work who i am TOTALLY attracted too
she is amazing
i like everything about her and get butterflies when i see her
(just like my boyfriend)

Am i bisexual??

im really confused?
im only 20, and i have other issues... but these feelings are overwelming

she is supirior to me
she hugged me and i felt something...

arrhggg im so confused!!
am i bi?

help!!

thank you
10 Responses
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437036 tn?1225284804
but she has been with her guy for 13 yrs...
Helpful - 0
630047 tn?1289248521
If you are in a committed relationship with your boyfriend then you should try and stay clear of this girl.  Which by the sounds of it may be tough.

Do you know what this girls feelings are towards you?  I would talk to your boyfriend and tell him that you are having these feelings.  Tell him that you love him and reassure him show him that you love him.  But I wouldn't recommend hiding this from him.

Who knows maybe the three of you may get together and all "hit it off".

Helpful - 0
437036 tn?1225284804
thanks for all the advice guys (:
its just everytime i see them both (my boy (22) and this girl- who happens to be 10 or so yrs older....)
I get butterflies... but in different ways...
its so hard to explain!!

today we had a really indepth conversation, she hugged me and kissed me on the cheek and told me how everything is going to be ok.... and i just feel like cuddling up to her and kissing her back and holding her too!!

i have never felt this before!!

i really do love my boyfriend

still confused after all the awesome advice!!
sorry guys just need some reassurance

xxxx

Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
sorry about hijacking the post to go on my little rant
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
not offended at you just what our world has become and im thinking that not mentioning  love and abstaining is bad advise you know some people are not strong enough to make there own mind up and may take whatever suggestions are put forth to heart so its irresponsible (in my opinion) to not start all your advise in that direction isnt there enough single mothers in the world and daycare centers raiseing our children  its something to think about. i just figure if you care enough to respond to so many letters it might be worth mentioning you never know someone just might listen and actually get married before having sex or at least wait untill they are married and can afford to have a child to become parents! wouldnt that be a great thing
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Oh definately, abstaining is a thought but its not for everyone and the info i give is only advice and with all advice doesnt need to be taken of course :). I run a sex shop and think i have read sooo many books etc on these subjects and obviously have previous experiences to look back on and regret in some cases just like everyone else. If only i was given certain advice at the time maybe i wouldnt have made my mistakes, but its all in the past and you can only learn from them cant you unfortunately. I only found this site as i was seeking advice for myself and the love in my life!

Oh definately it does need to be mentioned. You shouldnt just have sex as a chore, it should be something you share with your partner whether for life or current. :)

Sorry if i offended you by the way, i didnt mean to
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
hey clara is it just me but isnt it worth even mentioning abstaining  whats your background?alot of people have done things they regret later in life although im certainly not one to cast stones as ive had my share of meaningless relationships i just wished that if i had maybe thought it out a little better i wouldnt have married the person i did(got pregnant) tried to do (the right thing) now have an x wife and kids with a broken home

i know im ranting but someone need so mention this s*h*i*t
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
as gwmclean said, he just may not know how to do you right! every girl likes different stuff. Also sexuality is definately vague, it doesnt mean your bi at all, but perhaps she says and does the things your boyfriend should be doing to turn you on ... maybe. I dunno, sexuality is very clear to some people, not to others but dont stress on it as it will continue to hold you on this orgasm thing!

The more foreplay you have the more likely you are to orgasm as it makes you clit feel real good and enlarge, as does your gspot making it easier to hit. Believe it or not the more orgasms you have the easier it is. Try more foreplay, clit rubbing during sex, and different positions which hit the gspot easier such as doggy style. Also i found that for a period of a few months i didnt orgasm with a previous partner of mine, I ended up realising that the more i tried the least likely it would work so i gave up on it. Then the next time we had intercourse i orgasmed purely because i wasnt thinking about it.

Doesnt mean theres anything wrong etc, it takes a while to figure how you like to have it. Masturbate and find out how you like to be touched, then show him and get him to show you how he likes to be touched, like a game! It'll all be easy peasy then!

I hope this helps, and just be careful and take precautions.
Helpful - 0
630047 tn?1289248521
Don't think of your sexuallity in terms of balck or white.  But rather in shades of grey.  Juts because you have feeling for a member of the smae sex does not instantly make you gay, or bi-sexual.  You are you.  Everything else is just a label.  Just a meaningless label.

As for the first part of your post.  You are young and most likely your boyfriend is young as well.  He may not be pressing you buttons in the proper order.  Sometime men need to be shown things.  Work with him and show him what you like.  If he is worth anything he will be more than happy to ensure that you are happy.  Just what ever you guys do, please make sure that you are safe.
Helpful - 0
178590 tn?1294176767
humm I don't know what to tell you....I have had the same feelings but I don't think I'm bi....maybe I am....but only one man has made me orgasm and it wasn't my hubby
Helpful - 0
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