penetration issues

hey.i am 26 year old female,married for 3 years. till now me and my husband have never had sex as he keeps travelling.but now since we are planning to have a child, we tried having sex 4-5 times...but we couldnt do it cos my vagina was very tight n he just couldnt penetrate...please advice what we should do.

[Bhupinder Kaur, MD]

Hello,
The tightness of vaginal wall is due to vaginismus which occurs when the muscles around your vagina tighten involuntarily whenever there is an attempt to penetrate it with something this is the result of a reflex of the pubococcygeus muscle. It may be due to physical or physiological causes and the treatment required can depend on the reason.

The various treatment options for vaginismus are:

1) If it is due to psychological reasons then removing the psychological cause with one’s determination or with the help of a therapist may help.
2) Cognitive behavior therapy may also help.
3) Dilators can be used. When treating the spasms through dilation, the dilators, or probes, used are replaced with gradually larger sizes as the woman progresses. But these should be got done under medical supervision.
4) Exercises can be done which include pelvic floor muscle contraction and relaxation (Kegel exercises).
It is very difficult to precisely confirm a diagnosis without examination and investigations and the answer is based on the medical information provided. For exact diagnosis, you are requested to consult your doctor. I sincerely hope that helps. Take care and please do keep me posted on how you are doing.