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please help
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please help

hi guys,
this topic has been with me for about 2-3 years now. I cant have sex. It just hurts too much, like the pain, I cannot take. a lot of people have said that it is a phycological problem, but trust me I have tried to relax myself, tried to have a drink, im comfatble with the person, but everytme movement is made down there, I clench I dont know why. I really want to do it but something always happens to me. Even a finger I have togrit my teeth, only 3/4 of a finger has been up me twice in the past yeae or so and that was with gritting my teeth. I honestly dont know what to do. can a doctor break through the hymen? or is there anything a doc can do? I know this sounds really dumb..but it has been worryin me for quite some time now. I feel like givin up. hope someone can help...thanks guys..x
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Avatar_m_tn
i'm not exactly sure what i should say on this one. but to be honest if i were a girl with this problem i would see a gyno or something of that sort. i'm really sorry your having this problem, but i think the best thing to do is see a doctor.
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764201_tn?1245619865
You know, you're not the first girl I've heard of to have this problem. The last I heard was of a woman who had been married to her husband for 3 years and she was still a virgin die to this pheonominon.

I know you don't want to consider that it's psycoligical, but I honestly believe it is. I know it can be hard to relax. BELIEVE ME. Because when you're trying to relax, it's still there in the back of your head because you're trying to force your body to relax and it's not natural.

It could be due to some type of traumatic history. I've read about women that have this same problem but it's due to some sort of sexual abuse they've endured in the past and now they simply can not relax themselves. I'm not saying that you are one, but I'm jsut trying to help.

How long have you been with your partner? Are you a virgin? Have you ever masturbated on your own? A good way to practice may be to buy a SMALL dildo of some type and jsut try to not think about your problem. I know it's hard becase every time sex come up, I'm sure it's the first thing that pops into your head. Another idea; does he ever eat you out? That tends to relax SOME women and may help even to ease a finger or dildo in.

If you need more questions feel free to ask, and im sorry I couldnt help more. If your problem continues...I do suggest you see SOMEONE...I would say a sex therapist, not a Gyno. Yes, Gynos are DRs who specialize in Vaginas, but necissarily the sexual aspect of it...
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Avatar_f_tn
It sounds psychological to me, some women just aren't able to relax for underlying fears.

Try going to therapy or counseling before you do anything medical, because identifying those fears and overcoming them could solve the problem.

Try experimenting with yourself a bit, putting a finger in, and then gradually work your way up. Be comfortable with your own body, and then you'll be comfortable with others exploring you.

A doctor CAN break your hymen, but that might not completely solve the problem you're still a bit tight even after the hymen is broken, however it does make things easier.

There's a condition I believe called vaginismus, and it's an involuntary episode of spasms of the muscles, it prevents a lot of people from having sex and they have a kit you can buy which can help you overcome it if you do have vaginismus.

http://www.vaginismus.com/products/vaginismus_kit_dvd

That's it. You should talk to your doctor before you try that though.
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Avatar_f_tn
I had this problem myself. I couldn't use tampons and was very embarrassed that I was 18 and still using pads, but I just thought my body wasn't ready for them. When anyone would try to put a finger in, good luck! I had a gynecological exam and the doctor found that I had a "very thick and very intact hymen".

I was a serious athlete and thought my hymen had broken from physical activity so I was surprised.

We decided to do a procedure during which she would numb my hymen and surrounding tissue (that was the most painful, and only painful part). She broke my hymen and essentially cut it out, none of which I felt.

Then, after a month, my partner and I greatly enjoyed the new opening, and after a while and lots of playing, I have an easy vaginal opening.
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