porn addiction

I've been with my partner for over a year now. We share an apartment and a computer. His fondness of porn has always gotten to me in different degrees. When confronted, he has always been angry and defensive and is ver vocal in his opinion that it isn't wrong. My issue was never with the morality of his habit, but how it affects me. My self esteem is shot, we've stopeed having sex and my trust for him has gone out the window. He has all but refused to stop so our "compromise" was that he wouldn't to it while I'm asleep in the next room at night (disrespectful, no??) I woke one morning to find hundreds of pages in our history. When confronted this last time, he reacted by punching in a 1/2" thick mirror out of anger and bleeding all over our apartment while calling me every name in the book for "not giving him space". He reasons that porn is "about him" and his need to relax and has nothing to do with me. Is there any way to reason with someone like this before resorting to leaving?????

[thomas_943]

First of all, him punching and breaking anything is a basis for leaving. This man has anger issues, and unless he gets his way all the time, every time, the anger will only get worse.
I used to have major issues with my bf looking at porn, mostly because how much my mother disallowed it, and also how it made me feel insignificant and not enough to please my man (or should i say boy now)...
My current bf though, I don't care. We actually just went garage sale shopping and i pointed out a bunch of playboys for $.50 ea and bought him a couple. It's a lot different with him. The reason for this is because he has never told me anything negative about me, says that i'm the most beautiful and the only one for him. He's also said that if we ever separated, that he'd join the army again and never attempt to date again. He's made me feel like a queen and i'm perfectly comfortable with him looking at porn, because then he comes and takes it out on me :)
My last bf however, was doing what yours is now. The situation was (in my eyes), a little worse though. I have a 7yo daughter. The first time I confronted him about the porn he became upset. (he had also made me feel so self-conscious about my weight that i went from wearing size 7-9 jeans to 0's being baggy) it eventually progressed to him looking at nudist sites, not porn sites. which he explained was pictures of art, not disrespectful, but tasteful. But then it proceeded to him only looking at the nudist sites of children. I lost it when he was googeling nudist preteen beauty contests.
I ended up leaving him and moved back in with my parents. I tried telling my friends (which were his as well) what he was doing so they would understand, but he told them i was a crazy ***** and how long he'd wanted to get rid of such a fat *** (remind you, 0s were baggy). He's now dating a girl that just turned 16. he's 24.
So, long story short-- or here's the moral-- if you're not comfortable with your man looking at porn, then something else is wrong in the relationship. You should know you're his one and only, and have enough confidence in yourself to know your man won't go else where when he finds you to be the sexiest thing ever.  

[peaceinknowing]

Not a good relationship to be in as far as I'm concerned. I don't know your entire story -- and we can only go on the information you've provided us with here on this posting; But it sounds like you need to move on from him and try taking some time for yourself rather than wasting time on someone who is going to shoot your esteem down and then go off and punch a mirror to the exten that he did the other day..