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porn and betrayal...sorry so long
I have been with my bf for almost 9 years. I'm 26 and hes 30. We have a 6 year old son together and I'm 8 1/2 months pregnant with our second son. We have a pretty strong relationship and I think we communicatebwell. I recently not intentionally found porn on his phone. I just went to look something up and out of convenience grabbed his phone. I opened the browser and it was porn. So I checked his history and there was quite a bit on there. I asked him about it and he tried to deny it. And i was just like dealt I'm seeing what you were looking at. I think he was just more embarressed. I asked him questions about it and asked if it was me or anything. We have a pretty good sex life. Sex every night and I'm pretty adventurous. So I'm not sure why he would look at it. He told me it was only at work and he hadn't looked at in years. He said one of his friends at work told him about some sites. But why look? I caught him in the very beginning of our relationship looking at naked woman and told him how I felt about it and he said he was sorry. And he wouldn't do it again. And I can only assume and trust him he wasn't lying. I know if he went on my phone and there was men on there. He would be upset just as much as I am. He would of flopped out. So why is it ok for him to do it?. But I feel extremely sad and betrayed. I feel like he cheated o. Me. He was looking at naked woman and doing whatever with it. I don't want to hear that its a natural mans instinct and its normal blah blah blah. If your in a committed relationship why look at porn. Especially knowing how your partner would feel about it. I don't reallly know how to get passed it. And trust him again. I love him sk much and I know he loves me. But wtf! Why look at porn especially after telling me he does t need it or look at it. He said he thinks those girls are gross. By the wag I didn't put those words in his head. He said them o. His own. He always said I was the only girl he ever needs. I feel stupid for believing that. And I just feel bad about myself and our sex life. I mean I'm not shy in the bedroom either. So I'm just lost and hurt and betrayed and idk.
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139792 tn?1447663565
Your anger is justified. You may both consult a specialist to resolve this issue. If your partner agrees, your problem may be solved.
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I don't think seeing a professional solves everything! Its my insecurities I need to get passed. I'm looking for advice on how I get passed this. Now that he knows how I feel I can only trust him that he wont do it again. I know its going to take time but it still doesn't change the wag I feel. I wake up and its the first thing I think about. I fall asleep its the last thing I think about. Idk if its nh hormones or what but I'm just tired of feeling sad all the time. I try to be happy but idk. J just somehow go back to him watching porn. It really *****.
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