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Avatar universal

porn and betrayal...sorry so long

I have been with my bf for almost 9 years. I'm 26 and hes 30. We have a 6 year old son together and I'm 8 1/2 months pregnant with our second son. We have a pretty strong relationship and I think we communicatebwell. I recently not intentionally found porn on his phone. I just went to look something up and out of convenience grabbed his phone. I opened the browser and it was porn. So I checked his history and there was quite a bit on there. I asked him about it and he tried to deny it. And i was just like dealt I'm seeing what you were looking at. I think he was just more embarressed. I asked him questions about it and asked if it was me or anything. We have a pretty good sex life. Sex every night and I'm pretty adventurous. So I'm not sure why he would look at it. He told me it was only at work and he hadn't looked at in years. He said one of his friends at work told him about some sites. But why look? I caught him in the very beginning of our relationship looking at naked woman and told him how I felt about it and he said he was sorry. And he wouldn't do it again. And I can only assume and trust him he wasn't lying. I know if he went on my phone and there was men on there. He would be upset just as much as I am. He would of flopped out. So why is it ok for him to do it?. But I feel extremely sad and betrayed. I feel like he cheated o. Me. He was looking at naked woman and doing whatever with it. I don't want to hear that its a natural mans instinct and its normal blah blah blah. If your in a committed relationship why look at porn. Especially knowing how your partner would feel about it. I don't reallly know how to get passed it. And trust him again. I love him sk much and I know he loves me. But wtf! Why look at porn especially after telling me he does t need it or look at it. He said he thinks those girls are gross. By the wag I didn't put those words in his head. He said them o. His own. He always said I was the only girl he ever needs. I feel stupid for believing that. And I just feel bad about myself and our sex life. I mean I'm not shy in the bedroom either. So I'm just lost and hurt and betrayed and idk.
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Avatar universal
I mean its nothing to crazy (thank God) and its stuff we do or have done. So I'm just not sure. I mean he watches lesbian porn but he doesn't want me to be with a woman....and its crazy Bc he will say comments about me looking at things on fb and its not like they are naked it will be like a post from a magazine and I'm just scrolling down and come to find out hes looking and watching porn I mean that's hypocritical! It just makes me rethink a lot of things. It *****.
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Avatar universal
Your note exchanges actually sound helpful as sometimes things can be written but not so easily spoken.  Your comment that "he works nights so we don't see each other a lot . . . " may offer insight into your relationship.  I do sympathize with you, but I also understand the powerful pull that pornography has on many (most?) males.  The Internet has made porn so very accessible.  There are many kinds of porn  It might help to know if your husband is interested in certain kinds, that is fetishes, to see if it's also something that you two are already doing or could do, if not doing so already.    
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Avatar universal
I can honestly say I'm not a nagger...I strongly believe the phrase treat others how you want ti be treated. If I don't want to be nagged I'm not going to nag. I talked to him about it Valkyrie and told him how I felt. Hes not exaclty the type of person to be an open book. It sounds juvenile but we have been writing each other notes. He works nights so we don't see each other a lot and I don't want to spend the time we do have together talking about it. So we have just been writing each other notes. And in fact it has been helping me. Hes telling me how he feels on a more deeper level. We don't really have a normal sex life. We do anything with and for each other. So I don't really know how I can be more adventorous.
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139792 tn?1498585650
COMMUNITY LEADER
If all other factors are positive, you may consult a specialist and correct the situation.  To create more interest,and improve sexual act you may search techniques to enhance sexual satisfaction. Male deer exercise and female deer exercise, kegel (both kegel each other while doing intercourse), If you take these exercises lightly and humourously, it can be more productive. Just nagging will not help.Google websites for enhancement in sexual pleasure. This might help you to cement your relationship.
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139792 tn?1498585650
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