question about sex positions

[severin76]

I have read a lot about women who prefer sex positions which enable them to have more control during the intercourse, I mean especially "cowgirl" position - woman on top, but a small question has often crossed my mind: "do they really like it (being on the top)?". Yes, I have read a lot about women preferring this position and it was mentioned that it is better for stimulation of their clitoris or the angle (not angel:) of penetration may play its role or that of course they get more control and it is easier for them to adjust the stimulation to their needs etc...
But it has always seemed to me that it is quite strange that the women I have met (in a sexual context) have not preferred this position (cowgirl, woman on top), on the contrary, I have always found it difficult or even impossible to "persuade" them to be on the top (as this position is my favourite but fortunately I am able to feel comfortable also in other positions)... It is not so important, it just made me think about this question, whether women´s preference of being on the top is just a "theory" or a typical fact in everyday life.
I am aware of the fact that it is probably highly individual, one woman prefers this, another woman prefers something else, it is just logical and natural, especially in sexual matters. Moreover, I haven´t had sexual contacts with so many women that they could form a "statistically significant / representative sample of female population":)). But anyway, it has often made me think why some women dislike this position on the top... Can there be something like female "performance anxiety"? Or something like "body image issues / insecurity"? (not feeling comfortable with your partner seeing all your body etc?). Or are my personal experiences just a simple matter of coincidence? Has anyone here had similar experience or some other "explanation"?

[Starlite09]

I like the cowgirl position but tend to get bored with it. I dont find it a particularly good position for orgasm as some girls seem to. I don't think the penetration is as deep as with some other positions. I do like the same position but facing away from my partner however. I find i can control the movements much better like this.
I think all positions can be very loving. I think it's all about how much attention each partner is lavishing on the other.
When we try these positions, we usually change to guy on top so he can finish, although sometimes he does finish with me on top.

[iam1butterfly]

Hi severin,
In answer to your first question... regarding the female on top position, I wouldn't
exactly call it my favorite position. But, it's exceptionally effect for improved penetration and orgasms... for me. My current lover likes seeing my long hair dangle over my face during intercourse. However, he is rarely able to achieve orgasm in this position. Other past lovers, especially the ones who have had back problems, prefer it because it takes the burden of movement off their backs. Anyway, it has always been a position that I have engaged in. The only thing that I dislike about it is that I have a bit of Vertigo... so, occasionally that position makes me feel dizzy... once, I actually passed out! ... lol.
As for the difference between "loving sex" and this so-called "dirty sex," I think that I know where you're going with that question. Yes, there are religious and cultural taboos that set perimeters on sexual expression. Intended, I think... to emphasis the procreative aspect of sex while downplaying the pleasurable aspect. So, I believe that these influences are primarily designed to keep people "in check."
But, personally, I don't think that it's the position that defines what's "loving" and what's supposedly "dirty." What defines that... is the individual's overall attitude about sex, sometimes based upon past experience; but, all too often, based on preconceived notions.

[severin76]

Thank you very much for your replies and sharing your perspective / experience with me. Recently I have come across  another woman´s opinion that it can be related also to the difference between "loving sex"(represented by e.g. missionary position) and "dirty sex"(e.g woman on top). I am not sure what to think about it, maybe for someone it can be connected with some unconscious (deeper) influences of all the past centuries and its unwritten rules that women should be more "innocent" and not "too active" in sexual interactions? .

[Ashelen]

I hate being on top unless I'm REALLY in the mood to be in control. I'm very submissive in bed and I waaaay prefer this, but of course every now and then it feels good to take charge.....we usually go through several positions when we have sex but that is definitely not my favorite and I avoid it when possible, lol. But...you bring up a good point. I have gained weight (3rd pregnancy currently) since my husband and I got together 7 years ago, and I know my body image has CHANGED (although not really in a bad way) and I think I went from seeing myself as a very sexual, seductive woman as....just a woman. I think that probably accounts for the change, because I used to enjoy the on-top position more when we first got together. Hmmm...you've given me food for thought, thank you! Never really considered the small effects that body image has on life choices...only the big ones (clothing, confidence, etc). But I suppose that body image can account for something as subconscious as sexual positioning preference...how interesting.

[jessieleigh1982]

my ex loved this i hated it!  I just don't like it maybe b/c im lazy, lol..... plus i don't feel like its "better" for me i prefer doggy style.  i just think this issue is going to change from girl to girl.

[narla]

For me personally I don't mind being on top,I like deep penatration so t's normally me on top or what they call doggie,hope that helps,also clitoral stimulation at the same time helps.