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sex is not needed for me
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sex is not needed for me

I take testserone shots and have doctored for several years and the only way I can get an erection is with a penial injection.  I can not ejaculate.  My wife is very sexy good looking and loves sex.  The more often the better.
I told her she is plenty good looking that she would have no problem finding a friend with benifits and that
it would be OK because you have you husbands blessing.  That went over not well.  Now she abstaining
and I know that is not making her happy.  I have offered to inject so we could have fun but she says oh no
I am not going to trouble you.  How do I fix this.
3 Comments Post a Comment
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Avatar f tn
Hi,

I can sympathize with your dilemma, and I can even understand why you would suggest that your wife find a 'friend with benefits'. To be honest though, this is not what any wife who still loves and craves attention from her husband, wants to hear.  From a wife's point of view, what you have said may possibly come across like you are no longer interested in being intimate with her, or that you have given up on being intimate with her altogether.  Either way, she is probably feeling very hurt (and possibly rejected) by your suggestion.  

I'm sure that you meant well, but in my opinion you need to straighten this out by being honest with her about how you really feel.  If the injections are a hassle, and/ or you just are no longer interested in sex, be honest about it.  Having an open marriage is something that both of you would have to agree upon for it to work. Whatever the reasons are behind you no longer taking injections, you really should allow her some space to process what you have shared with her...  

Keep in mind, if you are still interested in intimacy, the two of you don't necessarily have to engage in intercourse for her to be sexually satisfied by you. If you can't find a way to resolve this issue soon, you might want to look into counseling for your marriage...

Take Care
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134578 tn?1455656688
I agree that there are other ways to find sexual satisfaction, you have other bodily parts besides your penis and you can also use "toys."  The issue is whether you even want to bother, and it rather sounds like with your low sex drive, you just don't.  I don't entirely blame you -- if testosterone is absent, sex must begin to be a matter of indifference.

But this is having the unfortunate effect of making your wife feel undesirable, and your suggestion that she would be free to find a lover has come across to her as you saying "Go away."  I think you and the doctor and she should have a talk, with the doctor explaining carefully to her what happens to a guy when his testosterone is low, so she really understands that it is not her.

Then the two of you should have a talk about whether she wants to stay married in a relationship where there is mostly going to be no sex.  "For better or worse, in sickness and in health" is generally what we promise, so perhaps she will say the "in sickness and in health" part applies here, and that of course she intends to stay.  (After all, there is more to marriage than sex.)  But you should give her the option, so she won't feel cruel if she wants to leave.

There are women who would happily live in a no-sex or low-sex marriage.  It should be her choice, though.
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139792 tn?1447663565
You can take help of yoga or taoist yoga, or kundaliniyoga. you and your wife can do couple yoga as well. For the stop gag arrangement, you can do Male/ Female deer exercise. Both of yo can do kegel exercise, learn to breath abdominal breath, learn sat kriya. Google all the above phrases. Google Breath to orgasm. Do some breathing exercises to increase blood circulation in the groin area.  Both of you can anal peripheral prostate massage to stimulate sexual system. This can serve as a therapy and pleasure tool.It may take time to see the significant results. These are tried method. research google different method for sexual urge enhancement methods.Your wife cooperation is essential.
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