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sexual behavior in 3 year olds
Recently my 3 year old niece was over my house and later in the day i had noticed my sons (who is 5) underwear were inside out. When i asked him why he told me that my niece pulled them down. The kids were yelled at and i sent my son to his room to be talked to. Wile i was talking to him about what had happened he told me that she pulled down his pants to have a "naked part" and than he told me that she had touched his penis. I had a long talk with my son on how that was wrong and when things like that happen he is to find and tell an adult as soon as it happens. When i questioned my niece she also told the same story. This is not the first time she has done something along these lines. She almost never has on underwear when she comes over to the point i have to check her every time she comes over now. Also a few weeks back i was at my sisters house and the kids were upstairs playing and my son started yelling that my niece took all her clothing off and sat on him not letting him up.
I am worried about my niece and where she is picking up this behavior and i am very worried about what effects it can and will have on my son. I have limited there play time together and no longer is she allowed at my house in skirts or dresses. I dont know what to do and my sister just shrugs it off. Should i be concerned?
I am worried about my niece and where she is picking up this behavior and i am very worried about what effects it can and will have on my son. I have limited there play time together and no longer is she allowed at my house in skirts or dresses. I dont know what to do and my sister just shrugs it off. Should i be concerned?
my gosh, this is normal curiosity and exploring by kiddies this age. To attempt to make a much bigger issue over it then a simple few sentences will actually cause more harm in the long run.
Hello, just here to give an alternate view on things.
It's not unheard of for people to develop natural sexuality at exceptionally young ages. It may not have anything to do with anything she has witnessed at all. It may just be her natural sexuality even though she is a child.
Not all people do. i've heard of people who aren't sexual until they are 30, but some people are born with higher sex drives.
When i was around seventeen years old, my mom finally confronted me and told me something that had bothered her for a very long time. She said when i was a baby, i would masturbate in church, and it would be very embarrassing for her because people would come up and ask what i was doing.
I also remember masturbating before i even knew what it was. I would even masturbate with my teddy bears, and sometimes masturbate in class. But in my case, i was a shy child so i never experimented with other children. For young girls who are outgoing i would think it would come natural. Her parents should have a talk with her, but be nice about it, and understanding. I remember confronting my mom about it, because i didn't even know what i was doing, and my mom was so embarrassed to talk about masturbation with me. I just wish parents could be more open about that kind of stuff, because it's very important for young kids to know about that stuff when they start to get into it.
You also have to understand the effects of how you react to children's new found awareness of sexual things.
One of my close friends who later developed a sex addiction in her life, told me that the main thing that messed her up and caused her addiction, was when her mother walked in on her when she was five years old and she had been masturbating. Her mother freaked out at her, reacted horribly, and scared my friend so bad to the point she spent then until she was sixteen years old believing that sex and masturbation was evil. This corrupted her mind. The way her mother reacted made her believe the natural things she was doing were immoral in every way, thus she did not do it for years until she finally read a magazine and found out that masturbation was normal and healthy.
It is so important to teach children, especially girls, the facts about sex so they don't develop any unhealthy behaviours, and don't become worried by the time they have a period and think they are bleeding to death. They need someone to teach them these things.
I think it is not advised to encourage the behaviour, but instead tell them it is natural to feel that way, and be understanding. I can see how at 3 years old it would be complex for her parents to have a conversation with her. But as soon as she can understand it would be good to have the "sex talk". I just hope whoever does it does generously, and teaches her things.
When children are not taught things about sex, it can be worrisome for their future.
The only thing you should worry about, is that if the child displays abnormal sexual behaviour. If the child is displaying signs of doing it too frequently, there may be an issue of physical or sexual trauma in their life, and these signs of "frequent" things such as constant masturbation can lead to sexual addictions in later life, i think mainly because it displays early addictive personality.
But in this case, it doesn't sound like it. It just sounds like how most kids are, experimenting, doing crazy stuff, it's all part of childhood, just like the first kiss. Im sure most kids experiment with the "Ill let you see mine if i can see yours!" but it's all sort of innocent you know, they don't even know what they are getting into at that age so they don't understand the invisible laws of human decency, but you have to expect them to sort of delve into it a bit. Lots of kids go through this, it is not rare at all. I've heard of cases where children act worse than this, a form of acting out, but what it comes down to is the parents not communicating with them about their behaviours well enough, and teaching them about sexuality properly.
It could also be very traumatizing for the child if the child does do something overly sexual at a young age. If this happens, it is basically teaching them bad habits for their future.
Yeah, if you are worried about it effecting your son it would be good to keep the girl away, but you have done all you can do, which is keep her away and talk to him, and i guess all you can do is hope that her parents talk to her.
Anyway hope this helps a bit,
- Sabrina
It's not unheard of for people to develop natural sexuality at exceptionally young ages. It may not have anything to do with anything she has witnessed at all. It may just be her natural sexuality even though she is a child.
Not all people do. i've heard of people who aren't sexual until they are 30, but some people are born with higher sex drives.
When i was around seventeen years old, my mom finally confronted me and told me something that had bothered her for a very long time. She said when i was a baby, i would masturbate in church, and it would be very embarrassing for her because people would come up and ask what i was doing.
I also remember masturbating before i even knew what it was. I would even masturbate with my teddy bears, and sometimes masturbate in class. But in my case, i was a shy child so i never experimented with other children. For young girls who are outgoing i would think it would come natural. Her parents should have a talk with her, but be nice about it, and understanding. I remember confronting my mom about it, because i didn't even know what i was doing, and my mom was so embarrassed to talk about masturbation with me. I just wish parents could be more open about that kind of stuff, because it's very important for young kids to know about that stuff when they start to get into it.
You also have to understand the effects of how you react to children's new found awareness of sexual things.
One of my close friends who later developed a sex addiction in her life, told me that the main thing that messed her up and caused her addiction, was when her mother walked in on her when she was five years old and she had been masturbating. Her mother freaked out at her, reacted horribly, and scared my friend so bad to the point she spent then until she was sixteen years old believing that sex and masturbation was evil. This corrupted her mind. The way her mother reacted made her believe the natural things she was doing were immoral in every way, thus she did not do it for years until she finally read a magazine and found out that masturbation was normal and healthy.
It is so important to teach children, especially girls, the facts about sex so they don't develop any unhealthy behaviours, and don't become worried by the time they have a period and think they are bleeding to death. They need someone to teach them these things.
I think it is not advised to encourage the behaviour, but instead tell them it is natural to feel that way, and be understanding. I can see how at 3 years old it would be complex for her parents to have a conversation with her. But as soon as she can understand it would be good to have the "sex talk". I just hope whoever does it does generously, and teaches her things.
When children are not taught things about sex, it can be worrisome for their future.
The only thing you should worry about, is that if the child displays abnormal sexual behaviour. If the child is displaying signs of doing it too frequently, there may be an issue of physical or sexual trauma in their life, and these signs of "frequent" things such as constant masturbation can lead to sexual addictions in later life, i think mainly because it displays early addictive personality.
But in this case, it doesn't sound like it. It just sounds like how most kids are, experimenting, doing crazy stuff, it's all part of childhood, just like the first kiss. Im sure most kids experiment with the "Ill let you see mine if i can see yours!" but it's all sort of innocent you know, they don't even know what they are getting into at that age so they don't understand the invisible laws of human decency, but you have to expect them to sort of delve into it a bit. Lots of kids go through this, it is not rare at all. I've heard of cases where children act worse than this, a form of acting out, but what it comes down to is the parents not communicating with them about their behaviours well enough, and teaching them about sexuality properly.
It could also be very traumatizing for the child if the child does do something overly sexual at a young age. If this happens, it is basically teaching them bad habits for their future.
Yeah, if you are worried about it effecting your son it would be good to keep the girl away, but you have done all you can do, which is keep her away and talk to him, and i guess all you can do is hope that her parents talk to her.
Anyway hope this helps a bit,
- Sabrina
i have heard about this before and it was a similar situation, but its more or less her parents doing something in front her and she is just mocking what she sees at home and thinks it is ok because she sees mommy and daddy doing it. tell them to be more careful when they have their "play time" to make sure that their daughter isnt watching.
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