Hi, I've been married for over a year, we're both in mid 30s, and although we have found other ways of giving each other sexual pleasue, we have a problem with the traditional way. It seems my vagina is too small for his penis ;( We have been able to achieve penetration a few times, but it's really painful for me and tiring for both,no matter how lubricated we are (without lubrication it's practically impossible to penetrate), so there is little pleasure and I've noticed we've started to avoid it in favor of other ways of having sex. Sadly, these other ways won't make me pregnant, and besides, we'd really like to be able to have sex in the most typical way without so much effort and so little pleasure. I've had one partner before the present one and although I do remember some pain while having sex, it was definitely easier and more pleasant. Probably his penis was narrower, although I suppose I really have a small opening, as I also suffer during the visits to a gynecologist. I've been experimenting with stretching my vagina by trying to push two fingers there, but it is always painful no matter how aroused I am. Is that a frequent problem? Can it be solved by a surgical operation (I've read about vagina operations, but rather in the context that they were too big e.g. after giving birth), or maybe there is another way to try?
i don't know if it has anything to do with the problem, but about 15 years ago I was rather brutally raped and had to have 6 stitches made in the vagina-anus regions, but it healed fast and well, the stitches were removed and I never felt any pain in those regions except while having sex.
I hope you can give me/us some useful advice.
Buy a skinny vibrating dildo that you can play with yourself and see if the vibration from the toy helps stimulate the nerves in your vaginal opening. This may help your vagina to expand and accept more penetration.
Imagine someone trying anal for the first time. Normally you have to prep the anus for weeks before the anus is ready for penetration. This seems like the same situation except that its your vagina we talking about.
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