Aa
why my wife refuses to have sex?
This is the common problem we have, I am ever-ready for sex but my wife always tries to escape from it. It happens only once in a week or 2 now a days. :( so i end up doing myself alone.:(
Is it because she gets tired too much and falls asleep quickly? or what I dont understand. :(
Is it because she gets tired too much and falls asleep quickly? or what I dont understand. :(
My wife has refused me for almost 2 years now. Sometimes she uses the tired excuse but mostly she gets mad if I try to be intimate at all. We don't even sleep in the same bed I sleep in the basement and she gets the master bedroom. I work hard and provide an excellent income she doesn't have to work but chose to because she wanted to work. I help her with everything including her job but as for me I get nothing. The last few times we had sex (years ago) it was all about me giving her pleasure. As long as I was making her feel good she was happy but as for doing anything for me that was nonexistent. I have the ability to last a long time and she has multiple orgasms but she never bothers to bring me to completion so sex for me simply became an exercise. Now she simply refuses me all kinds of excuses. Either she has to get up too early (if I try at night) or she didn't get enough sleep (if I try in the morning). At this point my heart races when I come up stairs thinking maybe I'll try because I don't know if she'll just blow up at me which has happened before.
i've been married 5 years, i hate sex. loved it at first, now i have to force myself to do it with him..thats only because he bugs and bugs me about it..
For many couples, I believe, sexual relations are much better elsewhere than in the bedroom where couples find themselves after a long hard day. In other words, make sex a priority and not something you do at the very last waking moment of the day when you are tired and somewhat apprehensive about tomorrow's activities. Shut the TV off, put down the novel, put away the gaming system, and get with your partner.
I'm just speaking from my personal experience, my husband and I used to have an excellent sex life, and we would have sex 3-4 times a week, now I'm lucky if we have sex more than twice a month. Even when I'm tired from work, I can wake up for sex, maybe that's just me, the only time I DON'T want to have sex is when my husband is being a jerk and then I just cannot bring myself to sleep with him. I cannot get aroused and I have no desire to do anything with him. Don't know if that helps, but that's just my experience.
If she doesn't have energy for herself, how do you expect her to have energy for you?
If she's hitting the bed and falling asleep every night, then ask yourself how you can help lighten the load? Everyone needs time to themselves to relax and recharge before they can be ready for others - is your wife getting that time?
If that's not the problem, then you need to TALK to your wife about this (not a bunch of internet yahoos). Only your wife knows how she's feeling. There is nowhere near enough information in your post to even begin figuring out what's going on between you and your wife.
If she's hitting the bed and falling asleep every night, then ask yourself how you can help lighten the load? Everyone needs time to themselves to relax and recharge before they can be ready for others - is your wife getting that time?
If that's not the problem, then you need to TALK to your wife about this (not a bunch of internet yahoos). Only your wife knows how she's feeling. There is nowhere near enough information in your post to even begin figuring out what's going on between you and your wife.
'.... she says she gets too tired in the night and falls asleep as soon as she goes to bed.'
Are you hearing her?
'.... finally i end up in doing myself. dont know what to do.'
I think you are doing the right thing. maybe she is less tired in the mornings, and/or on weekends? When you are tired, it's hard to be in the mood. This is what you do.
1) FIRST YOU LISTEN TO HER WORDS.
2) THEN YOU ACKNOWLEDGE HER WORDS
3) THEN YOU ASK HER IF PERHAPS YOU CAN HELP OUT WITH THE CHORES
4) THEN YOU ASK HER WHEN IT'S A GOOD TIME FOR HER
5) THEN YOU MASTURBATE WHENEVER OTHERWISE.
Are you hearing her?
'.... finally i end up in doing myself. dont know what to do.'
I think you are doing the right thing. maybe she is less tired in the mornings, and/or on weekends? When you are tired, it's hard to be in the mood. This is what you do.
1) FIRST YOU LISTEN TO HER WORDS.
2) THEN YOU ACKNOWLEDGE HER WORDS
3) THEN YOU ASK HER IF PERHAPS YOU CAN HELP OUT WITH THE CHORES
4) THEN YOU ASK HER WHEN IT'S A GOOD TIME FOR HER
5) THEN YOU MASTURBATE WHENEVER OTHERWISE.
We are married since 2.5 years. no kids yet. in the begining of married life we used to do it once in 2-3 days. gradually it reduced and reached on weekends. now its like once in a week or 2. i am always interested but she refuses to do. she works in a private company and she says she gets too tired in the night and falls asleep as soon as she goes to bed. finally i end up in doing myself. dont know what to do.
HockeyShark-- please tell me you are joking!! Sleeping with someone else will only makes things worse.
ponka-- I wish I got it from my husband once or twice a week. That would be better than once a month or once every two months, and even then I don't feel as bad when I hear of men going with out it for years from their wives.
Ask her why she doesn't want it as much as you do. Maybe you are bugging her to much about it and she is only getting turned off instead of turned on. Try starting the romance in the mornings. Start by telling her she is sexy or beautiful without her asking. Then flirt with her threw out the day. This will help build the excitement for her through out the day. Also if you two have phones and text message flirt with her or put ideas of sweet nothings in her head through text messages all day long. You will be more likely to get more from her that way.
ponka-- I wish I got it from my husband once or twice a week. That would be better than once a month or once every two months, and even then I don't feel as bad when I hear of men going with out it for years from their wives.
Ask her why she doesn't want it as much as you do. Maybe you are bugging her to much about it and she is only getting turned off instead of turned on. Try starting the romance in the mornings. Start by telling her she is sexy or beautiful without her asking. Then flirt with her threw out the day. This will help build the excitement for her through out the day. Also if you two have phones and text message flirt with her or put ideas of sweet nothings in her head through text messages all day long. You will be more likely to get more from her that way.
I was just reading a thread by sameera1 who's husband wont have sex with her... maybe the 2 of you should meet?
You have not provided enough information, or any information we can use, to help out with your dilemma.
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