Advise badly needed with premature ejaculation

[danst]

Hi. This is fairly embarassing and for that reason never talked about it before but really need some advice.

Im 23 and have had very few sexuell experiences. The reason for this is that i *** far far too quick!! To be honest i was a late enough starter, about 20 and was terribly embarrased when i came before even entering. She started to give me a blowjob during foreplay (but really only 2 or 3 sucks or something) and ... ...

The point is after a very embarrasing 1st experience i've had a total of only 2 more, and both of them were equally bad. After the last one (over a year now) I haven't even really tried to get together with a girl, because i expect the same thing to happen again!

I really need to try and do something about this and have read a bit online etc. I was wondering if my being a late starter could have contributed to the problem?

What i'm trying as of a few months now is to hold my erection as long as possible when masturbating. Although not sure if this really helps or not. Also read about Kegel exercises which I started only about 2 weeks ago...

I'm still a student and as such in no financial situation to be paying for some tablet form answer, apart from that im also not convinced they'd really help (read so many mixed opinions on most of them).

I would really appreciate any advise anyone has! Particularly whether the 2 things im trying should have an effect or not?

Thanks for any help offered!

[Pepper Schwartz, Ph.D.]

  I think both things may help. In particular, making your erection last longer in masturbation can help you be in control when you are with a partner. The Squeeze technique is a good addition- you may have read about it in various books. When you are masturbating and get close to orgasm, hold the head of your penis between your thumb and your forefinger and squeeze until you feel the desire to ejaculate diminish. Then ramp up again, get close again, and again,provide the pressure. This will help you stop from having an orgasm- and also train you that you can back away from getting close to the edge=still maintain an erection, and easily recover the sexual feeling , knowing when to back away if you don't want to come too quickly.

  Rapid ejaculation - having an ejaculation before you want to- is really really common- especially among young men. You are so excited that there is an involuntary   build up excitement to the point of ejaculatory inevitability... the textbook phrase for getting too excited to stop the orgasm from happening. However, as you get more used to having sex and getting excited, this overwhelmed feeling will subside and you can gain more control.

   One more thing: when you start with a partner, tell her that you are very excited and you might come more quickly that you want to-- ask her to help you take it slow and help build up your excitement together in a comfortable way with fewer expectations,  Most women will be flattered that you are confiding in them and being intimate about your feelings--with the right woman,  you can work together to create a good sex life.

[slow_healer]

lol, I think you're not the only guy with this problem. My current partner also is very paranoid about cumming too fast. Our solutions:

We take our time in getting him aroused and going at a slower pace when he's feeling sensitive.

Experiment with numbing condoms (we like performax from durex). Generally he finds condoms decrease sensitivity, so protected sex is definitely a preference.

Switch to manual stimulation (e.g. fingers) when he gets too sensitive (keeps me going, and gives him time to cool down a bit).

Lots of reassurance. If you're with someone who makes you anxious about your performance, then of course you're not going to do as well as you wish. A good partner will still want to be intimate and sexual even after you've ***.

What you're doing already sounds like you're on the right track. Keep it *up* and I hope this advice helps!

[Kate987]

Howdy,
I am also a college student and can totally relate to not being able to afford anything really.  
I was my current boyfriends first sex partner, and the first time we were intimate wasn't much different than how your first went.  A year later and we are still taking our time, by using the same precautions used as the above poster said.  When we have sex if he feels sensitive we slow down or try different things.  Most girls are pretty patient about mishaps such as having an orgasm quickly just relax!  It's fairly common and will most likely get better with experience.  Best of luck to you =)

[Angel Lust]

I have the same problem with my boyfriend. It's frustrating because he constantly ejaculates too quickly, while I never get off. I'm wondering if their are more options for him or us to learn how to hold it longer. Do exercises help? Can masturbating too often make this occur?