This forum is for questions and support regarding relationship issues such as: Abstinence, Arousal Problems, Birth Control, Cohabitation, Commitment, Communication, Couples Counseling, Desire /Lack of Desire, Sexual Technique.
I am (almost) 16, am 6’2”, my voice has changed, my **** is 4-5⅔ inches when erect, and I have a normal amount of (puberty’s) hair every place I should including my ***, pits, pubes, arms, legs. Like every teen, I’ve had wet dreams. But when I masturbate I can’t get ***.
I have hard erections, a powerful sex drive, but I can masturbate for ten minutes straight and I’ve never been able to “hit” semen. So I have wet dreams, not every day, but if I haven’t had any in awhile then I will usually make a large (1-2 teaspoon) ‘deposit’ within in a week.
Is this normal?? Am I alright?? I’ve heard retrograde ejaculation but that isn’t plausible because the *** obviously doesn’t pass into my bladder when I’m sleeping.
Nothing wrong with you except perhaps some negative information that's holding you back.
Since your body responds perfectly when you're asleep, let's assume there's nothing physical contributing to this. It sounds as though you're not having orgasms during waking hours because something about self-pleasuring--or sex in general--is creating a conflict for you.
You need to ask yourself what that is. Negative messages from church, family, friends, etc. can be devastating. Remember that anxiety is the enemy of sexual arousal. Take an iinventory of anything that may be hindering your ability to become uninhibited and turned on.
Here's some general information for you about self-pleasurig;
First, there's absolutely no evidence that it's harmful. There's a very long history regarding some culture's discomforts with self-pleasuring, based on lots of mythology and misinformation, and this still affects some peoples' attitudes today. There's more misinformation about self-pleasuring than any other human activity.
Here's what we DO know: It’s the surest way to orgasm and the most effective way to learn about our sexual response cycle, as well as the surest way for women to learn how to orgasm and for men to learn orgasmic control. If you feel you come too quickly, the surest way to slow down is to teach yourself a new pattern via self-pleasuring.
Another advantage to self-knowledge: How can you show a partner what you like if you don’t know yourself? We get the message that if you love someone, somehow they’ll miraculously KNOW what feels best for you. This is a cruel myth and leads to lots of disappointment as well as feelings of inadequacy.
And the #1 Reason for Self-Pleasuring: it’s fun!
Remember that all our scientific data show that the people who take responsibility for their OWN pleasure have the best sex lives and rate themselves as happiest about their sexuality.
You need some further information about male sexuality, and I have just the resource for you: "The New Male Sexuality," by Bernie Zilbergeld, Ph.D,, widely available online, both used and in paperback. This book has helped thousands of men to better understand their own sexuality. Best of luck to you. Dr. J
it sounds suspicious, you need to talk to ur dad or another male in ur family, it may be a ginetic thing that they share or know about, it could be nothing, maybe masturbating just isn't ur 'thing', but if it's medical, u need to discuss the situation w/ a DR.
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