This forum is for questions and support regarding relationship issues such as: Abstinence, Arousal Problems, Birth Control, Cohabitation, Commitment, Communication, Couples Counseling, Desire /Lack of Desire, Sexual Technique.
This is a forum for asking the expert (me) about a particular subject. In fact, quite a few people have asked about anal stimulation. Check out the posts from October, July, March and August. Here's some general information for you.
Many people greatly enjoy anal stimulation—whether with a tongue, finger, penis or dildo. This is a sexual activity that requires lots of good technique and communication, so you’re to be congratulated for asking questions about it. Most of the following information applies to both sexes.
Generally, no one should use any commercial douches, as they contain perfumes that can dry out and otherwise irritate that delicate tissue in your crotch area. To clean the anus of any fecal material, use an enema—plain warm water will do just fine.
The keys to anal sex are 1) lots of lube (the anus doesn’t produce its own lubrication), 2) lots of stimulation of the anal area (to relax that tight sphincter) and 3) gentle, slow penetration, not just ramming it in. Be sure you and your partner are communicating during anal sex; tell your partner when you experience pain and when something doesn't feel good so that you can stop or go slower. Start gradually and slowly, first with just a finger, and then if you mutually decide on penis insertion, do that very slowly as well. It’s OK if you discover that you only want to be penetrated by something small, rather than something a bit more “important” like a penis.
Very important: The anus is a very tight orifice, and tears easily, leaving it vulnerable to infection, so BE SURE to use a condom. And don’t put anything in your vagina that has first been in the anus (fingers, toys, penises, etc.) without using a new condom, because the bacteria that live in the anus can be harmful to the vaginal environment, which can cause various unpleasant side effects like yeast infections.
If you’d like more information about anal sex, I highly recommend the book, "Anal Pleasure and Health," by Jack Morin, Ph.D. This is the most authoritative book about anal sex, written by a prominent sexologist. Dr. J
Thanks for the speedy reply. I'm amazed at what one can do w/anal-sex. I was one that thought one should not venture in those parts mainly b/c I thought it would destroy the membranes/tissues/veins/muscles, etc. or create hemmorhoids. After reading your reply, I guess it's alright as long as one is safe & healthy. The reason I was curious is b/c my big sis once worked as a receptionist, for many years, in a medical clinic, and she saw/heard many strange situations amongst other not so strange. One that has bothered me for years, since she told me, was about a man that had had various/many relationships with other men and was brought into her ofc. for attention. She went on to inform me that the man had ruined his anal orifice due to so much activity, in the past, that he no longer could use the restroom. The man was forever attached to a bag on wheels that he had to roll around w/him everywhere he went for the rest of his life. His excrements were so loose, b/c he couldn't control his anal area anymore, that the bag and hose were a part of his life. My sis said it was the first time she'd ever witnessed anything like that b/c in our family . . . anal-sex is unheard of . . . you just don't go there. I was curious b/c of all of the same-sex partners I've been seeing more and more as I mature. I intend to get my priests input on the subject matter, also. I know sex is for pro-creation and poking one's privates were they don't/shouldn't belong is a mystery to me. Thanks for settling my mind and placing my thoughts on this subject to rest. You just took a load off of my past-thoughts. Thanks, again.
You're most welcome. Happy to clear up some misconceptions. And speaking of those: it's possible your sister misunderstood. First of all, if one has no bowel control, one is fitted with a colonoscopy, which is a small bag attached the abdomen. I'm unaware of any bag on wheels. This seems to be a popular urban myth. And while it's true that hospital emergency rooms do see patients with various objects stuck in the rectum, many of these reports are also myths. As long as it has a string attached to it, one is in no danger of getting something lost in there.
Another myth is that all same-sex male partners engage in anal sex. It's a part of sexuality for some, but certainly not for all.
I don't know that a priest can give you any medical information about sex, unless he's also a trained physician. However, that's not my department. I'm a scientist, and we don't ascribe any "meaning" to sex, other than the meaning that each person gives it individually. Dr. J
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