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I'm a 19 year old college student and have recently gotten close to engaging in sex. I've always had condoms on hand, but ones that I have gotten for free at concert events or something of the like to ensure safety between my partner and myself. I trust Trojan condoms do to their reputation and recently bought "Ribbed" condoms. I was in the store forever trying to decide which condom would be best and could barely come to a conclusion. I thought this and that and I'm worried as to whether or not these are the best for first time sex.
I'm completely fine with the condoms myself, whatever the specs. I just want for the experience to be positive for her.
Good question! First, let's dispatch a couple of myths:
1. Ribbed condoms are a result of men thinking that women are actually stimulated by the ribbing. Ha! Women only have sensations in the outer 1/3 of the vagina. Once you get in any deeper than an inch or so, the vaginal walls aren't feeling anything--ribbed or otherwise.
2. First penis-vagina (p-v) sex is rarely a mind-blowing experience for women (or most men either). This is because it's been imbued with so many expectations that it can't possibly live up to. Plus you're both inexperienced and don't yet know what you're doing. And then there's the anxiety of wondering whether your partner is enjoying it, etc. So relax and don't try to be perfect. Realize that it takes time with a new partner to learn what feels good, etc. You're about to start a journey that can be lots of fun if you can just mellow out and let it flow.
Having said that, I can tell you how to make this as good an experience as possible, so that you'll both want to come back for seconds--and thirds.
Don't put pressure on p-v sex to be the end-all-be-all the first time. Great sex takes practice. So practice first on yourself. Be sure you both know how to put on a condom and use it properly.
Next, find the thinnest condom possible. Many women find thick condoms irritating. Buy a bunch and try them out first on yourself. See which ones feel best for you. Trojan is certainly a reliable brand, so if you want to stick with it, fine.
And use lots of latex-safe lube--all over her vulva, clit, etc. And reapply it liberally during p-v. If you do, I guarantee you'll get rave reviews and a request for a return engagement. Be sure to buy a lube that is made specifically for p-v sex.
When and if you feel ready to attempt intercourse, before you do anything else, have your partner put on a condom, or, if you're the partner with the penis, put the condom on. You should not be trying a condom for the first time and first intercourse: make sure you both know how to use one well before. Be sure to use extra latex-safe lubricant with the condom, and put a generous amount of lube on and around the entire vulva. Either or both of you can massage the vaginal opening and clitoris with the lube, and be sure it's really slippery, andbe sure to add more lube throughout as needed. Suffice it to say, that extra "massaging" should hardly feel like a chore. Good luck! Dr. J.
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