This forum is for questions and support regarding relationship issues such as: Abstinence, Arousal Problems, Birth Control, Cohabitation, Commitment, Communication, Couples Counseling, Desire /Lack of Desire, Sexual Technique.
Here is my problem, I masturbate practically everyday and it takes me 1-2 minutes to get off, with my very quick method.
I'm 26 year's old, in a very serious relationship with a 29 year old woman, during intercourse I don't ejaculate, I make her orgasm at least once, most of the time more if we have more time, but I have to pull out and finish myself, which takes about a minute or two.
What can I do to kick my masturbation technique habit that I'm so used to, so I can get myself used to intercourse and ejaculate inside her with out having to pull out and masturbate to finish?
Another thing that I have noticed which I don't mind but I always focus and make sure she's having a good time.
What can I do to fix the problem? My girlfriend wants me to stop masturbating all together, cause she says doing it every day is not normal. I have stopped doing so. It's only been 2 days since I stopped and it's her time of the month right now.
I have read a lot of articles online and my problem stems back to my masturbation method, it's basically all I know. In the past I never addressed the problem because it never came up until my current girlfriend. Back then the younger girls didn't care they just wanted to carry on for a couple hours and I would just masturbate and be done with it.
I Kinda Have The Same Problem. I Can *** During Sex But When My Fiance Gives Me Oral I Juct Can't Seem To ***. You Might Be Thinking Too Hard About Cumming Or About Making Her Orgasm. Here's What I Do If I Don't Give My Fiance An Orgasm Dering Sex I Give Her Oral Till She Does Have One. You Could Just Have Sex And Not Focus On Giving Her An Orgasm Dering Sex And Give Her Oral After You Finise. As For The Masturbating I Do It A Lot Myself But Not Everyday. Try Slowing It Down To Maybe Every 2 Or 3 Days. Hope This Helps.
Why don't you try switching the focus to getting *you* off? While you're having sex let yourself relax and mind wander somewhat as you would when masturbating. It sounds like you're pretty intent on making sure she has a good time (which is great) but maybe address it and let her know that sometimes the focus needs to be on you as well. Oral sex (from her to you) is one great way to shift the effort from her pleasure to yours.
Personally, I don't think you masturbating every day is unhealthy or the source of your problem. It sounds more like you're not having your chance to be "selfish" so to speak and take pleasure for yourself. It can be easy for women to misunderstand that sex alone isn't always going to be sufficient for a man to have an orgasm. Talk to your girlfriend and work on striking a better balance in the bedroom. Good luck!
I went through a 5 year "dry spell" after the end of a relationship and the beginning of one that developed into a sexual one. During said dry spell, masturbation was my only source of "relief" and when it came time for the real thing, well, I just could not get off. I believe it has to do with the amount of "pressure" in our grip which can be significantly different than what we feel during intercourse..
and of course the more you think about it, the more worrisome it becomes..the key is to just relax. I think what finally brought all of this to an end for me was one time after intercourse, I was masturbating and just was I was about to orgasm, she (now my wife, btw) put her mouth over my penis which of couse put me right over the edge.
Agree it is gret to make her feel good, but you can be selfish for you. Don't concentrate on finishing, just make it feel good for you, different position, different angle, what ever gets you there. And even if you don't finish it is not a fault or problem-that is just the way it is. Maybe let her finish you instead. and you should try to cut back on the self-love. Whn you wnat to tug it, try to get to her instead if not just call her and tell her your are saving it for her so she should be ready- that might build the excitement until you get together.
Why think when you are having sex. I prefer that we both lose ourselves in the moment and don't worry about who is getting off. Gnerally it ends up being both of us. Also, why rush masterbation, you could be practicing control by not doing it so fast.
i have the same prob. you wont kick the habit.. it just wont happen...
you have to do it with her, she does herself while you do yourself, and thats that..
now that will be different wont it. let her start 1st, as it takes her longer to get off. just lay there nude watching her do it...then slowly start letting her watch...
you might have to stop doing it by yourself in the shower or whatever, or she will look elsewhere like my ex did.. tell her its nothing she is doing wrong, as all guys do this and thats just that.. any guy who says they dont do it is a lier..or sick or both...
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