Aa
Chronic Masterbation?
For a Doctor:
My question is hard to word without explaination. My spouse and I have (atleast I thought) a very healthy and active sexual relationship. The other day I found out exactly how much he masterbates on top of our sex life. He swears it is a stress reliever and habit formed as a teenager (20 some years ago). How much is to much for a male masterbating? Twice a week? Twice a day? Better yet, would twice a day be considered chronic?
I at this point am extremely upset. Feeling inadequit (grrr, where is spell check?!! ) in a long term marriage that I thought was really good. Desperate for any information- Blondie
My question is hard to word without explaination. My spouse and I have (atleast I thought) a very healthy and active sexual relationship. The other day I found out exactly how much he masterbates on top of our sex life. He swears it is a stress reliever and habit formed as a teenager (20 some years ago). How much is to much for a male masterbating? Twice a week? Twice a day? Better yet, would twice a day be considered chronic?
I at this point am extremely upset. Feeling inadequit (grrr, where is spell check?!! ) in a long term marriage that I thought was really good. Desperate for any information- Blondie
I'm not a doctor, but I am a guy that can ease your anxiety. First off, Do NOT feel inadequit. For the most part in general a woman can't keep up with men when it comes to how often they want sex. There really is no set number of what chronic masturbation is. I will tell you that a couple of things about guys though. One is that it's actually healthy for him to have a healthy sex life with you and to masturbate. If a man doesn't regularly "relieve" himself it can cause prostate cancer. Also it can be physically annoying if a guy isn't "relieved" often. Our testicals swell up, they throb, and can come pretty close to feeling like they've been kicked, this is commonly known as "blue balls". You're probably thinking that since he's masturbating he's probably not interested in you, or that you don't do it good enough to satisfy him, thats not the case. A guy in general is always looking for something different. He's married and hopefully faithful, so when he has sex with you, he's fulfilled that desire and when he masturbates he's fulfilling another. Think of it like having a choice of drinks infront of you, one day you may choose one thing, and another you may choose something completely different. Be thankful he's faithful to you, and also don't be afraid of it. If he masturbates, make it fun, masturbate with him, make it so he "catches" you masturbates like when he comes home or something. Get involved with it instead of being afraid of it. Also find out what he's masturbating to, and try to mimic it so it involves you more. It could be that he's just afraid or uncomfortable asking you to do certain things. So find out what they are, if there are any, and do them without him having to ask, just surprise him.
in this book i was reading it says it straight out: ladies, your boyfriend/husband/whatever DOES masturbate. and it goes on to explain that men instinctually are drawn to variety because they are instinctually out there to procreate. if i man masturbates a lot, he's not going to be cheating on you. the book also pointed out a good point that has to do with what your husband says about "stress relief," in that sex takes time. it's not exactly stress relief--he has to worry about pleasing you and such, and what could take an hour can be done in a few minutes. a lot of men seem to need to do that before they go to sleep or in the middle of a stressful day simply because they need a stress reliever, and its a really great way of doing that.when my boyfriend isn't masturbating, i can tell because he's really stressed out and gets angry easily with all of his work. would it make it feel better for you if you knew he was masturbating to you?
Dear i have same experience with my husband he also masterbath twice a week i notice that when he is having bath that time it was hard to me normally we are haveing a intercousre mostly 5 days a week and enjoe it .
when i asked why u are doing that he explain me that becuse masterbation help him to exten the intercose time i thing its correct other wise intercorse time may be shorter and men sprim come out with in short period most of the married men it used to do his partner circle time .
also i hard that when i was young if men are not doing intercorse or mastbath the stocking spairm is epected to urine truble and blader cancer
dont wory i have a same experience most of married men are doing that also we dont when they are in wash room what they are doing its not effected to spirm quantity it will produce every day .
also i hard tha 99% men are doing that from their child hood age i know my mother was carfully checked my brother behaviour on those days i asked from her why u are worry about mom told me most of young child doing self thing its not good for helth how ever you know those days perents are not much familer on this issue then i realise its not effected to men helth or our intercorse drive
i like to your feed back
regards
when i asked why u are doing that he explain me that becuse masterbation help him to exten the intercose time i thing its correct other wise intercorse time may be shorter and men sprim come out with in short period most of the married men it used to do his partner circle time .
also i hard that when i was young if men are not doing intercorse or mastbath the stocking spairm is epected to urine truble and blader cancer
dont wory i have a same experience most of married men are doing that also we dont when they are in wash room what they are doing its not effected to spirm quantity it will produce every day .
also i hard tha 99% men are doing that from their child hood age i know my mother was carfully checked my brother behaviour on those days i asked from her why u are worry about mom told me most of young child doing self thing its not good for helth how ever you know those days perents are not much familer on this issue then i realise its not effected to men helth or our intercorse drive
i like to your feed back
regards
it just no normal to us to have this frequent masterbation...with just throwing out wat is in excess for us as pleasure goes as urge in our mind and body...to take out the excess is to relieved in ourself for good...
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Hi Blondie:
Please stop worrying. There’s nothing wrong here.
I have a question for you: how much is too much pizza? Or TV? My point is that there’s no such thing as too much self-pleasuring. There’s only what works best for each of us. Some people self-pleasure three times a day, three times a week, three times a month, never, etc. When it comes to sexuality, everyone is different, and there’s no such thing as “chronic,” “normal,” etc. We don’t use those terms to indicate someone who runs several miles a day, for instance, but because of our history of discomfort about sex, judgments abound.
So your husband is like most people. Men AND women enjoy self-pleasuring as part of a variety of sexual expression. Even if you could have steak each night, that’s not to say you might not also enjoy pizza and a cheeseburger sometimes. Variety is the spice of life, no? It doesn’t mean he’s not attracted to you. And the two of you are still having mutually enjoyable sexual experiences.
Remember that all our scientific data show that the people who take responsibility for their OWN pleasure have the best sex lives and rate themselves as happiest about their sexuality. Sounds like your husband is just fine, and it’s your attitude that’s the problem.
Which leads me to wondering if you’ve asked yourself where your discomfort and insecurity comes from? Are you generally insecure because you feel you might not be worthy of love? Or are there some unresolved issues in your relationship that are contributing to your sense that all is not right? If so, I encourage you to see a counselor to sort out whatever other issues you have.
Or maybe none of these are true for you, and you just needed a little reassurance that all is well. Snuggle up to your husband, tell him you adore him, and that you’re happy he is who he is: a man in love with you. And treasure your sexuality—both individually and together. Dr. J
Please stop worrying. There’s nothing wrong here.
I have a question for you: how much is too much pizza? Or TV? My point is that there’s no such thing as too much self-pleasuring. There’s only what works best for each of us. Some people self-pleasure three times a day, three times a week, three times a month, never, etc. When it comes to sexuality, everyone is different, and there’s no such thing as “chronic,” “normal,” etc. We don’t use those terms to indicate someone who runs several miles a day, for instance, but because of our history of discomfort about sex, judgments abound.
So your husband is like most people. Men AND women enjoy self-pleasuring as part of a variety of sexual expression. Even if you could have steak each night, that’s not to say you might not also enjoy pizza and a cheeseburger sometimes. Variety is the spice of life, no? It doesn’t mean he’s not attracted to you. And the two of you are still having mutually enjoyable sexual experiences.
Remember that all our scientific data show that the people who take responsibility for their OWN pleasure have the best sex lives and rate themselves as happiest about their sexuality. Sounds like your husband is just fine, and it’s your attitude that’s the problem.
Which leads me to wondering if you’ve asked yourself where your discomfort and insecurity comes from? Are you generally insecure because you feel you might not be worthy of love? Or are there some unresolved issues in your relationship that are contributing to your sense that all is not right? If so, I encourage you to see a counselor to sort out whatever other issues you have.
Or maybe none of these are true for you, and you just needed a little reassurance that all is well. Snuggle up to your husband, tell him you adore him, and that you’re happy he is who he is: a man in love with you. And treasure your sexuality—both individually and together. Dr. J
Nope sure don't. Have heard it is no different.
hai dear,
do u have any experience sex with circum pein ,my hus not ciumm any differance in sex pein is circumm pl comments all
do u have any experience sex with circum pein ,my hus not ciumm any differance in sex pein is circumm pl comments all
Hey all since I am new to the forum thing. Can anyone tell me why I have not recieved a Doctor letter back? The first time I posted I posted in the wrong forum. This time I am in the expert forum. I do appreciate all of your feedback!
Thank you for the comments and help. I appreciate it. Starting to calm down over this. Someone said twice a week, if only it was twice a week. Twice a day plus oral and sex is a minimum. Lucy, I am sure you are correct. I know he is not cheating. I realize it is probably what he says, stress relief and habit. Yes, I understand variety and he is masturbating to me (lol that is what he says). Still stings. Just as an added bit of info. By no means am I a prude that is over reacting. Will try most anything once. Might hate it, but will attempt. LOL I have seen someone I used to be close to go from what is happening in our home, to a literal sex addict. Lost his job, wife, kids, and respect from all. This is probably what scares me the worst. Blondie2334
Thanks Smartypants. LOL I have / we have discussed and acted on the fantasies. Just felt and feel burnt. I have no issue w masterbation our mutual masterbation. Heck, it is fun.
Just shocked and seriously worried about ................... can't even put it into thoughts, let alone words.
Just shocked and seriously worried about ................... can't even put it into thoughts, let alone words.
You are reading content posted in the Sexuality & Relationships Forum
Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
Discharge often isn't normal, and could mean an infection or an STD.
STDs aren't transmitted through clothing. Fabric is a germ barrier.
Normal vaginal discharge varies in color, smell, texture and amount.
