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Sexuality & Relationships (Expert Forum)
Compelled to mastubate very frequently
Answered by
Janice M Epp, PhD - Female sexual issues, Adolescent sexuality, Male sexual issues
Private Practice
Palo Alto - CA
This forum is for questions and support regarding relationship issues such as: Abstinence, Arousal Problems, Birth Control, Cohabitation, Commitment, Communication, Couples Counseling, Desire /Lack of Desire, Sexual Technique.
Compelled to mastubate very frequently
by Salarion, Oct 17, 2009 01:33AM
Well, i noticed this a couple of years ago, and i've always been worried about it but i never bothered to ask about it. Now i have a room mate though and this could possibly get uncomfortable and/or embarrassing.
I masturbate a lot. At least once a day, some times two or three times. I've even done it as many times as six times in one day (was a while ago and that's the most i can remember masturbating in a single day). That's not really the BIG problem though. I'm wondering about what happens when i don't masturbate. I becoming intensely sexual. For example; i went a couple of days without masturbating once, i woke up in the middle of the night with an erection and was wandering around my apartment looking for anything with a girl on it to masturbate to. I ended up watching the home shopping network because there was a passable looking woman selling something. There have been times when i have done things i wouldn't do normally, such as inserting things into my anus. When my girlfriend was living with me and i was too embarrassed to masturbate like i regularly do, i woke her up in the middle of the night and we had very "passionate" sex. She told me the next morning that i was almost forceful.
Something else i noticed. If i go even a day without masturbating, my ejaculations become very powerful and there is quite a lot of semen. I also find it very difficult to go to sleep without masturbating immediately before.
What should i do to curb this compulsion?
I masturbate a lot. At least once a day, some times two or three times. I've even done it as many times as six times in one day (was a while ago and that's the most i can remember masturbating in a single day). That's not really the BIG problem though. I'm wondering about what happens when i don't masturbate. I becoming intensely sexual. For example; i went a couple of days without masturbating once, i woke up in the middle of the night with an erection and was wandering around my apartment looking for anything with a girl on it to masturbate to. I ended up watching the home shopping network because there was a passable looking woman selling something. There have been times when i have done things i wouldn't do normally, such as inserting things into my anus. When my girlfriend was living with me and i was too embarrassed to masturbate like i regularly do, i woke her up in the middle of the night and we had very "passionate" sex. She told me the next morning that i was almost forceful.
Something else i noticed. If i go even a day without masturbating, my ejaculations become very powerful and there is quite a lot of semen. I also find it very difficult to go to sleep without masturbating immediately before.
What should i do to curb this compulsion?
Doctor's Answer
by Janice M Epp, PhD, Oct 20, 2009 04:53PM
, Oct 20, 2009 04:53PMTo: Salarion
Hi.
You don’t state how old you are, but many men in their early 20s or 30s find that they have lots of sexual energy, with no adverse side effects. Let’s talk about the concept of “over-masturbation” for a minute. No medical expert recognizes “over-masturbation” because there is no scientific evidence that there is any such thing, just as there’s no such thing as “under-masturbation.” What most of these non-experts mean by “over-masturbation” is anything more than what THEY do or are comfortable with.
Let’s also note the difference between a “belief” and a demonstrable fact. There are people who believe that the earth is flat, in spite of all evidence to the contrary. Similarly, many cultures have myths that associate semen with strength. None of these myths is based on any scientific research.
Self-pleasuring doesn’t affect your body’s chemicals in any negative way. What it CAN do, like any strenuous exercise, is either energize you or make you feel tired. Exercise affects everyone different. It sounds like you find it energizing.
Let’s talk about what we DO know about self-pleasuring.
It’s the surest way to orgasm and the most effective way to learn about our sexual response cycle, as well as the surest way men to learn orgasmic control. If you feel you come too quickly, the surest way to slow down is to teach yourself a new pattern via self-pleasuring.
Another advantage is self-knowledge: How can you show a partner what you like if you don’t know yourself?
And the #1 reason for self-pleasuring: it’s fun!
Self-pleasuring is a part of who you are sexually—for your whole life, not just when you don’t have a partner. People self-pleasure from birth to death, when they’re alone and when they’re partnered. It’s just one of many options we have as sexual beings. It’s not better or worse than partner sex, just different—like steak is different than chicken.
Remember that all our scientific data show that the people who take responsibility for their OWN pleasure have the best sex lives and rate themselves as happiest about their sexuality. So please stop torturing yourself, accept your sexuality as a gift and start enjoying life.
You make reference to a “compulsion.” It doesn’t sound to me like you feel compelled to self-pleasure, but rather that you have lots of sexual energy/desire which needs an outlet. When you suppress it, you feel the need for relief. So what’s the harm in this? As far as I can tell, there is none.
I can’t comment on your physiological response after not having an orgasm for a period of time. If you feel you may have some physical problem, you might want to have a thorough urological check-up to rule out any medical condition.
It’s possible that you’ve become very dependent on frequent orgasms as a stress reliever. If this bothers you, you might want to consider finding other ways to relieve your stress. On the other hand, if you feel you’re using sex to avoid something important in your life, you may want to explore that with a counselor. Please see someone who is trained to help people with sexual concerns and don’t buy into any of these unscientific pop psychology groups. Best of luck to you. Dr. J
You don’t state how old you are, but many men in their early 20s or 30s find that they have lots of sexual energy, with no adverse side effects. Let’s talk about the concept of “over-masturbation” for a minute. No medical expert recognizes “over-masturbation” because there is no scientific evidence that there is any such thing, just as there’s no such thing as “under-masturbation.” What most of these non-experts mean by “over-masturbation” is anything more than what THEY do or are comfortable with.
Let’s also note the difference between a “belief” and a demonstrable fact. There are people who believe that the earth is flat, in spite of all evidence to the contrary. Similarly, many cultures have myths that associate semen with strength. None of these myths is based on any scientific research.
Self-pleasuring doesn’t affect your body’s chemicals in any negative way. What it CAN do, like any strenuous exercise, is either energize you or make you feel tired. Exercise affects everyone different. It sounds like you find it energizing.
Let’s talk about what we DO know about self-pleasuring.
It’s the surest way to orgasm and the most effective way to learn about our sexual response cycle, as well as the surest way men to learn orgasmic control. If you feel you come too quickly, the surest way to slow down is to teach yourself a new pattern via self-pleasuring.
Another advantage is self-knowledge: How can you show a partner what you like if you don’t know yourself?
And the #1 reason for self-pleasuring: it’s fun!
Self-pleasuring is a part of who you are sexually—for your whole life, not just when you don’t have a partner. People self-pleasure from birth to death, when they’re alone and when they’re partnered. It’s just one of many options we have as sexual beings. It’s not better or worse than partner sex, just different—like steak is different than chicken.
Remember that all our scientific data show that the people who take responsibility for their OWN pleasure have the best sex lives and rate themselves as happiest about their sexuality. So please stop torturing yourself, accept your sexuality as a gift and start enjoying life.
You make reference to a “compulsion.” It doesn’t sound to me like you feel compelled to self-pleasure, but rather that you have lots of sexual energy/desire which needs an outlet. When you suppress it, you feel the need for relief. So what’s the harm in this? As far as I can tell, there is none.
I can’t comment on your physiological response after not having an orgasm for a period of time. If you feel you may have some physical problem, you might want to have a thorough urological check-up to rule out any medical condition.
It’s possible that you’ve become very dependent on frequent orgasms as a stress reliever. If this bothers you, you might want to consider finding other ways to relieve your stress. On the other hand, if you feel you’re using sex to avoid something important in your life, you may want to explore that with a counselor. Please see someone who is trained to help people with sexual concerns and don’t buy into any of these unscientific pop psychology groups. Best of luck to you. Dr. J
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