Do i need to try to lower my sex drive?

[quiet77]

I have been with my boyfriend for the last two years. At the start we would have sex ever other day. I have a very high high sex drive so everything was fine. But like every relationship we don't have sex as often anymore. I have to beg for sex to get it once a week. Is there someway to lower my sex drive? its recking my relatipnship. My boyfriend said sex is like a chore. Which hurt so much. What can I do to change?

[Yaime25]

I'm the same way, I'm the horny one, I have to masturbate every day to keep up with myself

[Ms.Misery]

I've been in a relationship with a man 10 years older than me. We love each other very much, but it seems to me that he can be cruel to me sometimes. He never wants to have sex with me as much as I want it and he has only gone down on me twice in 4 years. He won't ever try other positions either, except for missionary. The only time he is kinky is when he is doing coke. Thats it! I am only 33, he is 43. I masturbate a lot too, but it never seems enough. The sex is great, I always climax, but sometimes I want a little variety in what we do. Our lovemaking is like a routine. What shall I do?
Am I oversexed?

[Pepper Schwartz, Ph.D.]

          The problem may not be as sexual as it is relational. Your boyfriend is feeling pushed to perform and he is resisting by not giving you sex. I would look to the rest of the relationship.Do the two of you get along well- or does he feel pushed, 'crowded' or need psychological and physical space in non sexual ways as well?  My guess is that the issue is not just your strong sex drive-- but his need for control and independence in the relationship. If you back off in a number of ways, he might come to you-- but he surely will not if you push him.

    Of course it hurts when he says sex is a chore, and that sentence means he is angry- so if you don't back off, the relationship is going to end. If I were you, I would masturbate some-- nothing wrong with that- and let him come to you. Apologize for making him feel used or pushed, and take back some of your own time and independence. He will immediately see the difference and I think this may release him to love and want you more.

     In the long run, you can see if you have much more sex drive than he does or not. If you do, and it continues to be a problem, maybe this isn't the relationship for you. But it may be that his sex drive is just fine--as long as you don't make demands on him that come from neediness rather than love and mutual arousal.

[banter]

I think that your boyfriend needs to seek counseling.  Seriously!  :-)

[Michael40]

NO
Enjoy your sex life if your boyfriend can't keep up than find a manfriend who can.