This forum is for questions and support regarding relationship issues such as: Abstinence, Arousal Problems, Birth Control, Cohabitation, Commitment, Communication, Couples Counseling, Desire /Lack of Desire, Sexual Technique.
I'm a male, already 24 of age. You may never believe that I have never had a girlfriend yet.
My problem is: How will I completely quit masturbation? I can go a week or two without doing it but I always end up going back.. Though, most of times I can't help but see/watch hot/sexy videos on tv or online...
Almost everyone feels insecure about masturbation—or self-pleasuring. We all want to know that what WE do is OK. From your note, it looks like you feel that it’s somehow harmful or wrong. There are no data to indicate that self-pleasuring is in any way harmful, or that it burns off proteins—which you indicated was a concern of yours.
Well, I’m here to tell you that whatever works for you is what works for you, and please stop worrying and enjoy your life. The fact that you’re trying to stop self-pleasuring and are finding it difficult should tell you that it’s an important part of who you are. Accept it as a wonderful gift that keeps on giving :)
Here are some facts about self-pleasuring:
It’s the surest way to orgasm and the most effective way to learn about our sexual response cycle, as well as the surest way men to learn orgasmic control. If you feel you come too quickly, the surest way to slow down is to teach yourself a new pattern via self-pleasuring.
Another advantage is self-knowledge: How can you show a partner what you like if you don’t know yourself?
And the #1 reason for self-pleasuring: it’s fun!
Self-pleasuring is a part of who you are sexually—for your whole life, not just when you don’t have a partner. People self-pleasure from birth to death, when they’re alone and when they’re partnered. It’s just one of many options we have as sexual beings. It’s not better or worse than partner sex, just different—like steak is different than chicken.
Remember that all our scientific data show that the people who take responsibility for their OWN pleasure have the best sex lives and rate themselves as happiest about their sexuality.
I understand your concern about finding a girlfriend. The best way to do that is to become a confident, happy man who is truly interested in women as people, not just as sex partners. A man like that just GLOWS, and women find him irresistible. Good luck! Dr. J
Don't quit masturbation! it would be impossible, and why do you need to stop? all men i know do it, and most females... my boyfriends always have porn and videos, and others should be okay with that because it's natural. what's wrong and why would you think you should quit?
haha.. impossible? i think it's not. what i need is just self-discipline and diversions..
My problem is, I started hitting the gym since last year but now, I see just a little improvement of my body. I think it's because of my habit, which is masturbation. Some says it can burn off proteins and calories... that's why it takes so long for my body to improve...
I want to grow muscles to become more attractive to the ladies and also to be more confident... =)
My goal is to finally have a nice girlfriend now...
Don't try to give it up, it won't help you become more confident, it will make you more tense when talking to the ladies because of all the pent up frustration, (ever seen "Something about Mary"?
I had first proper relationship at 25 so its no big deal, there are always others starting later yourself.
Just work at becoming friends with ladies without worrying about making them a partner, make compliments, smiling and gentle flirting, even with women that arent your type or your not theirs, as its easier, practice makes perfect and will build confidence.
Thanks, at least I got some ideas from you.. you have a point.
I just kind of disappointed that my body has not really improved since I started hitting the gym last year.. I really want to have well-defined muscles and body. I want to get some looks in order to be noticed by the ladies.. I want to awaken the hidden hunk in me.. I want to have sex appeal..
I feel I'm still a skinny ******* that's why Im not really confident about myself.
This is the my biggest concern.. 2nd is to develop my sense of humor..
> I feel I'm still a skinny ******* that's why Im not really confident about
> This is the my biggest concern..
How skinny? More than me with a BMI around 18.4? Although I understand that I am in the low end of the weight distribution of men of my age, I don't feel bad about this. Not at all. So... big part of this is mental I think.
> 2nd is to develop my sense of humor..
This is certainly more serious than your first concern, provided that you have an average, more or less, appearance. Women are more deeply interested in men that will make them laugh and show them a good deal of affection. Their interest in the "showers" of us is rather superficial, generally speaking.
...i makeing masturbation i want to stop it and i can't and i'm hort my self so much i ben 6 years makeing masturbation all my body have bain how i make my self laik befor anormal and strong man naw a'm veery week. my back hort's me and my memory (lost) if any of my family remind me any thing I can't remmber it that is crisy thing ...
and how i get baek the lost enrgy to my bady?????
i need from you D.Janice full details please help me please please please....
i'm. by now most girls my age have to admit that their boyfriends masturbate and look at porn. i have had boyfriends who decided not to and it completely backfired. all my boyfriends masturbate and look at porn, and i know it's completely natural. any nice girl should be able to understand... she probably does it too, although not as much. but i prefer skinny guys often and stuff. as a woman, if i met a guy that didn't masturbate i'd feel like they were hiding something. i dated a guy for a while who claimed not to like porn and stuff, and he was trying not to. it came to when we were living together that i would find porn on my computer and stuff, and it became an obvious lie from the beginning and caused fights. and, you are not going to get a girlfriend by stopping the masturbation. you can't just go up to a girl and say, "hi, i don't masturbate." it doesn't work that way and that's not what women you meet care about.
hey naiLv, look i've been looking this up for the past couple of days, and honestly i'm sorry you got this group of people to answer you. They are all telling you it's natural and you should just accept the fact that you do it. well you know what that's stupid. This earthly life is about becoming the person that you want to be. You obviously want to quit masturbation. Good for you! This is the choice you made and you feel like you'd be so much happier and better off without right? Then go for it!
I read this forumn before i read yours and i believe that you would like the things that these people are saying so much more! it helps
good luck on whatever you do. if you have something that really helps you relax go ahead and do it,except masturbation. it's not easy to "get" a girlfriend, especially when you're so ashamed and whatever. a lot of guys masturbate because sex is too demanding, because they need a little bit of relief but not an hour trying to please their girlfriend! thanks for bringing up that point rankett, you must be a genius.
i am the only woman on here, i think. if you're worried about getting a girlfriend, i am just saying it doesn't matter but an obsessive attitude about it seems like it's strange, and as the greatest achievement of your life... that's good that you have goals, and you're a young man so go for them. and during sex wouldn't you suffer premature ejaculation? but i do not know, i'm just a girl and i have no moral or ethical problem with masturbation. it used to bother me when i was first dating that guys had porn and whatnot; now i find i can laugh about it. a doctor did answer you, and they will all say the same thing. masturbating decreases the chance of prostate cancer and is natural. but as a "young man" you deserve a round of applause from all of us and the sorry guy above. go ahead and try it out! i said, i had boyfriends who did before but thinking about it only makes you think about it more so... good luck. you know who you want to be, and go try it out and if it works for you, write a book about it! aesthetics do it,and there are exercises that Tibetan monks use. etc.
yes, and also, as an attractive girl, i will say that i think that body is not important but attitude is, confidence is...part of that is not caring what girls think of you and just doing what you do. sense of humor is awesome, but... if it's artificial...
just be comfortable; girls like that. there are a lot of other things girls like. i am just saying--i would not care if a guy didn't masturbate, and i wouldn't be attracted to him for that reason.
It is completely possible to quit masturbation. I practice meditation from an organisation. I right now live in Maryland. Now I live more happily and light, no more frustration, no more insults but more confident and healthy too. Believe me..until people achieve it..they say it is impossible. I have achieved it .. so I say.. it is POSSIBLE..
You may reply or give me your contact for your help in this regard.
i have son 16 years , i notice in morning when he was sleep peain its hard also few days when he was having showers he rub and doing mastbation i got afread i hard its not good also many times he take much time in wash room i thing he is mastbat.
i want start with him convecation to expalin this how i will do that pl comment
Hey richsoccer, I like it.. it's great.. i really agree, fantasizing really comes first before masturbating! darn...
Now, it's alarming because it became worse suddenly. We just subscribe recently to our local cable tv provider.. and during weekends I always watch FashionTV's hot/sexy models at night! esp. their midnight hot show... I masturbate 2-3 times while watching the shows! darn! The reason why I subscribe to cable tv is to watch the Beijing Olympics esp. Basketball..! I'm an avid NBA fan here..
Look, I'm a 17 year old GIRL trying to quit masturbating because it's frowned upon in my religion...but I think that guys should know that girls have the same struggles they do! We're just not as open...kinda random comment but it works
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