This forum is for questions and support regarding relationship issues such as: Abstinence, Arousal Problems, Birth Control, Cohabitation, Commitment, Communication, Couples Counseling, Desire /Lack of Desire, Sexual Technique.
I remember when I was 17, and full sexual arousal felt like I was flush with every sexual chemical and endorphine throughout my body from head to toe, even before orgasm. The only times when I seem to experience the same rush in my head and body now, and this is even before or without coming all the way to orgasm, is either when I have a sudden vivid sex dream while sleeping, or when I wake up with a (here is the language) urine enduced hardon at 4am like I did the night before last.
I am 50 and I can get an erection but it seems to take some effort. But NEVER is waking sex anything like these dreams or the urine enduced hardon experience, both of which unfortunately happen only rarely.
First, I think you're being unrealistic. You're expecting that your sexuality will stay the same throughout your life. When you're 50, do you expect to be able to do everything the same as when you were 18? I doubt it.
Well, cheer up. Just because you're 50, or 60, or whatever, doesn't mean you can't enjoy sex.
Welcome to your 50’s! When you're younger and just beginning to be sexual with others, erections pop up everywhere--including when you don't want them! Post-pubescent men are highly excitable. As you age, you’ll find that you need more direct touch and stimulation. This is just part of life and doesn’t indicate any underlying condition to worry about.
Also as part of the aging process, you'll find that erections sometimes take longer, and even come and go. Again, this is not an indication of ill health, but just part of life. Sexual interest ebbs and flows as well, depending on other circumstances in your life. Also realize the more stress you’re under, the less energy your body has to respond sexually, so stop worrying
Perhaps you’re not receiving enough stimulation during partner sex, or you might be starting sex before you’re turned on enough. In addition, some men find that certain condoms limit sensation, and, of course, this can intensify with each experience, leading to more anxiety. I’m also wondering how aroused you are by your partner.You could be bored, or perhaps some aspect of your relationship isn’t satisfying.
To sum up: Worrying about this is a dead-end street. All it will do is make you anxious, which will make your penis very uncooperative. And remember you don't need an erection to be sexual, have fun, experience pleasure, etc. Relax, enjoy your own unique sexuality and stop judging yourself. For more information about this and other men’s issues, I recommend the book, “The New Male Sexuality,” by Bernie Zilbergeld, Ph.D., widely available both used and in paperback. The information in this book has helped millions of men overcome discomfort and anxiety about sex. Good luck to you. Dr. J
I can see that I did not word my question correctly. This question probably does not belong under Erectile Dysfunction either, but it was the only close topic I could find. Please allow me to try again.
In the last few days, I experienced full sexual arousal that felt like I was flush with sexually released chemicals and endorphines throughout my body from head to toe, even before orgasm. The only times when I seem to experience this level of excitement and sensitivity are either when I have a sudden vivid sex dream while sleeping, or when I wake up with a (for lack of better terms) a urine-enduced erection at 4am, which I did a few nights ago. Waking sex and orgasm are never any where near as pleasurable as these sleeping sexual episodes. I want to change that.
Any diet, lifestyle, or medical suggestions are most welcome.
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