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Sexuality & Relationships (Expert Forum)
I feel very excited seeing gay porno, am I gay?
Answered by
Janice M Epp, PhD - Female sexual issues, Adolescent sexuality, Male sexual issues
Private Practice
Palo Alto - CA
This forum is for questions and support regarding relationship issues such as: Abstinence, Arousal Problems, Birth Control, Cohabitation, Commitment, Communication, Couples Counseling, Desire /Lack of Desire, Sexual Technique.
I feel very excited seeing gay porno, am I gay?
by just_a_just, Dec 21, 2008 12:44PM
Hi everyone.
I am 21, since I was young I feel excited seeing gay movie, can I be gay? In "real" life I don't feel ATTRACTION to any guy, I have girlfriend, I always had girlfriends, I always LOVED womans, I always love woman... And I still love.
This could be just a "fantasy" with their own explication? Or can I be gay? I don't feel gay, I do not feel any attraction to mans, never felt. Of course I can see that a guy is pretty, but NEVER NEVER felt attraction to any man.
I feel this is just a "mental fantasy". By the way, this is just something that sometimes in home I think about this, in social life I can't think about sex with a man, only with woman.
Please answer this, I feel very confused.
I am 21, since I was young I feel excited seeing gay movie, can I be gay? In "real" life I don't feel ATTRACTION to any guy, I have girlfriend, I always had girlfriends, I always LOVED womans, I always love woman... And I still love.
This could be just a "fantasy" with their own explication? Or can I be gay? I don't feel gay, I do not feel any attraction to mans, never felt. Of course I can see that a guy is pretty, but NEVER NEVER felt attraction to any man.
I feel this is just a "mental fantasy". By the way, this is just something that sometimes in home I think about this, in social life I can't think about sex with a man, only with woman.
Please answer this, I feel very confused.
Doctor's Answer
by Janice M Epp, PhD, Dec 29, 2008 04:08PM
, Dec 29, 2008 04:08PMTo: just_a_just
The reason you're confused is because society itself is confused. We try to put everyone in a box labeled gay, straight or bisexual, when, in fact, there's no such thing.
You are who you are. Some of us are born with a strong sexual orientation to one sex or the other, while others of us are more flexible. The problem comes with trying to fit into one of these boxes. We feel we have to define ourselves; and yet, once we do, many of us feel incomplete and confused. That's because sexuality is fluid and indefinable. Regarding sexual orientation, sexological research has discovered that many people are very fluid in their sexuality: In fact, people all over the map: exploring same-sex fantasies one day, falling in love with the other sex the next—and every other variation you can think of. Many people have sexual experiences with both sexes throughout their lives, as well as falling in love with both sexes. And many people only fall in love with one sex, but are sexually oriented towards both. And vice versa. In addition, many of us have fantasies about being sexual with one sex or the other, but never wish to act on these fantasies—just keep them as something private: forbidden and thus, very hot. This is part of being human, creative and sexual. Life is SOOO complex!
And just to complicate things further, we can change many times over the course of a lifetime. You may be into women for awhile, then men, then women, etc. We can never know what’s around the next corner. Tomorrow you might be walking down the street and fall madly in love with a hippopotamus in a tutu!
So the short answer is: stop worrying and be yourself. Best of luck to you. Dr. J
You are who you are. Some of us are born with a strong sexual orientation to one sex or the other, while others of us are more flexible. The problem comes with trying to fit into one of these boxes. We feel we have to define ourselves; and yet, once we do, many of us feel incomplete and confused. That's because sexuality is fluid and indefinable. Regarding sexual orientation, sexological research has discovered that many people are very fluid in their sexuality: In fact, people all over the map: exploring same-sex fantasies one day, falling in love with the other sex the next—and every other variation you can think of. Many people have sexual experiences with both sexes throughout their lives, as well as falling in love with both sexes. And many people only fall in love with one sex, but are sexually oriented towards both. And vice versa. In addition, many of us have fantasies about being sexual with one sex or the other, but never wish to act on these fantasies—just keep them as something private: forbidden and thus, very hot. This is part of being human, creative and sexual. Life is SOOO complex!
And just to complicate things further, we can change many times over the course of a lifetime. You may be into women for awhile, then men, then women, etc. We can never know what’s around the next corner. Tomorrow you might be walking down the street and fall madly in love with a hippopotamus in a tutu!
So the short answer is: stop worrying and be yourself. Best of luck to you. Dr. J
somethings turn ons are because they are fantasy... and may or may never happen..
as you grow older you will learn and experience different things, and you will know what is comfortable and what is not... until then - just do what makes you happy, you only live once!
sexuality is very strange, over powering at times, and justknow that we all have thoughts and different things that arouse us - you are not alone and almost everyone you know probably has many of the same thoughts and fantasies you have ....