This is going to sound ridiculous. I'm not really sure why this bothers me so much, as I have no problem with orgasm, but it disturbs me that I can't find my clitoris. I've looked at diagrams and I know that it should be just above the urethra and below the hairline but on me there is nothing there. The only sensation in that area comes from my urethra. Is it possible that my clitoris is in or under my urethra? Or that it is somewhere under the skin above it?
An interesting question, but one that is not answerable without a physical exam. You say you've looked at diagrams, but I'm wondering if you've looked at actual photographs of vulvas, including clitoral structures. The clitoris isn't one structure, but is actually comprised of three: the glans--or head, the hood and the shaft. The glans is the most visible part--what most people refer to as the clitoris. They come in all sizes and shapes, including some that are bifurcated (like two little pearls). Some glans are very, very small and may not be visible without pulling back the clitoral hood. And remember that size has nothing to do with orgasmic ability.
I recommend you look at photographs of vulvas to first see the tremendous diversity, then get a magnifying mirror and do a close-up self-exam. This is helpful for ALL women. Remember that knowledge is power!
If you still can't find your clitoris after this, make an appointment at your nearest womens' clinic for an examination. You'll probably be most comfortable seeing a woman nurse or physician who can help you learn about your own unique anatomy. Dr. J
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