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Avatar universal
I pleasure my wife but she is still not satisfied
I was able to pleasure my wife orally to an orgasm and twice through intercourse in a 1 hour period with the 2 orgasms coming within 2 minutes apart internally.
I never came in that time and wasn't to concerned if I did or not but what I heard next really
Hit me like a ton of bricks!
While I was kissing my wifes back and enjoying the time we just had she said
"I wish you were harder because it's really frustrating for me because I have to raise my hips up"
Well that really pissed me off that she had the nerve to say that right after she climaxed twice and a total of 3 times.Talk about spoiling the moment or what?
I brought her to a climax orally after spending 30 minutes pleasuring her in which she said
"Boy you sure work hard to please me and won't stop til you do hey?"
Well needless to say I apologized in a sarcastic way that she had to raise her hips up in order to orgasm it must have been exhausting !
Anyway I just decided to turn over and go to sleep and my wife says "What's the matter you mad at me?"
I said yup you just managed to somehow take ALL the pleasure out of our intimacy with one sentence.
I didn't sleep well and drove my wife to work hoping she may say SORRY for spoiling the moment last night
with what I said.
WRONG nothing as if it never happened and I just harboured those hurt feeling until lunch when I picked her up only to be blamed for being childish and a big baby.
I expressed my feelings to her saying I feel inadequate even though you enjoyed the sex and she said
I just said i wish you were harder so I don't get so frustrated.
That was it I dropped her off and said this is going nowhere and now have this hanging around in our heads. Any idea how to resolve this to satisfy both of us?
Thanks
Mac

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3 Answers
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523042 tn?1212181495
Hi Mac

Sounds like the two of you have totally unrealistic ideas about sex. First, your wife thinks you should be hard all the time, and second, you feel responsible for her pleasure.

Take a step back and think about what these expectations are doing to your enjoyment of sex. Now it's time to talk as adults, not angry children. I know she hurt you, but she's probably feeling fearful or unattractive because she associates being attractive with you having a hard erection for hours on end. When you don't, she may fear you don't want her.

You can have great sex together if you let go of these expectations, find things to do that you both enjoy, whether they end in orgasm or not, and, above all, communicate openly and honestly with each other. Best of luck to you. Dr. J

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Avatar universal
These is just to tell you all that I’m one of the people that has taken bucket of water from the ocean thinking the water level will diminish. Married for 18 years.
My wife and I are not in good relationship anymore.
She has been texting a guy for almost a year since 2008 when Obama was running his campaigns. I found a lot of phone text exchanges but never seen the actual words. Was being charged for all the text communication with this guy.
In March 2009 I went for short term disability, My mum passed away in April 2009, I stayed home with grief/mourning my mother. While she is having time with this guy. In August 31, 2009 I found out about this guy, she apologize saying that it just a friend nothing physical, I tried to let go but every day since that day my life has changes and feels like my wife is cheating on me. I ‘m the one that always interested with sex, I always ask but about 96% she will say NO! – If you can see my wife she is the most sexiest woman that is alive, she is very curvy like God designed her just for guys to go for it the way she looks no kidding, any guy will hit on her.
As said, with those feelings that I think she is cheating on me, she will not answer me sometime when I ask her or talk to her. She is very mean to me. When on bad trying to touch her breasts, she push my hand away and get angry, she agrees to have sex with me after the sex she will seem to be annoyed looking at her face, and she would ask me why I’m looking at her like that, she will drug me to the Gym even if when I don’t fell like it, my wife has history of having phone numbers for people when I ask she will go mad. She likes shopping.
Yesterday night, I asked for sex, she said she doesn’t feel like, I got frustrated I went crazy I starting saying why every time I ask for sex you most the time you always have excuses. And I honestly said to her that it looks like you getting it somewhere else, she mad and we started arguing and I brought it back that the guy she has been  testing for almost a year, we went on and on  she said that if I need the truth I said yes, she then said she never been SATISFIED IN OUR SEXUAL LIFE – That was a chock and drove me to have a conclusion that she is having it outside, I really got mad and we went on and on again and she called the cops for me. The police came in the house at night around 11:30 night. They ask me about what the problem was? I explained and they asked if we can resolve it. So we slept until this morning that I’m writing this email.

I need help what to do?
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Avatar universal
A related discussion, how to satisfy my wife in bed? was started.
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