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Sexuality & Relationships (Expert Forum)
Is It Safe for me to have safe as often as I want
Answered by
Janice M Epp, PhD - Female sexual issues, Adolescent sexuality, Male sexual issues
Private Practice
Palo Alto - CA
This forum is for questions and support regarding relationship issues such as: Abstinence, Arousal Problems, Birth Control, Cohabitation, Commitment, Communication, Couples Counseling, Desire /Lack of Desire, Sexual Technique.
Doctor's Answer
by Janice M Epp, PhD, Jan 20, 2009 05:40PM
, Jan 20, 2009 05:40PMTo: Gerrald
Dear Gerrald:
First, you’re asking me to second-guess your cardiologist when, a) I’m not a cardiologist, and b) I have no idea of your medical history. No physician can tell you whether your physician’s advice is correct without a thorough examination and health history.
I’m curious about your motivations for being sexual. You say it’s because you want to make your girlfriend happy. Is this what sex is about for you? Making someone else happy? What about your pleasure? What about intimacy? And what makes you think it’s YOUR responsibility to “make her happy”? I hope you’ll consider other reasons for being sexual than just an empty performance for someone else’s benefit. In fact, when we have health challenges, sex can be very life-affirming.
I’m also wondering if you have asked your physician about the safety of any activities that might increase your heart rate at this point. Sex is like any other physical act: it raises your blood pressure and heart rate. I’m assuming you’re not running, jumping, playing tennis, etc.—in short, anything that would put a strain on your heart. So when you’re being sexual, as you become aroused, your heart rate will increase. A specific question I’d ask my cardiologist is whether an increase in your heart rate is OK at this time. Dr. J
First, you’re asking me to second-guess your cardiologist when, a) I’m not a cardiologist, and b) I have no idea of your medical history. No physician can tell you whether your physician’s advice is correct without a thorough examination and health history.
I’m curious about your motivations for being sexual. You say it’s because you want to make your girlfriend happy. Is this what sex is about for you? Making someone else happy? What about your pleasure? What about intimacy? And what makes you think it’s YOUR responsibility to “make her happy”? I hope you’ll consider other reasons for being sexual than just an empty performance for someone else’s benefit. In fact, when we have health challenges, sex can be very life-affirming.
I’m also wondering if you have asked your physician about the safety of any activities that might increase your heart rate at this point. Sex is like any other physical act: it raises your blood pressure and heart rate. I’m assuming you’re not running, jumping, playing tennis, etc.—in short, anything that would put a strain on your heart. So when you’re being sexual, as you become aroused, your heart rate will increase. A specific question I’d ask my cardiologist is whether an increase in your heart rate is OK at this time. Dr. J
