This forum is for questions and support regarding relationship issues such as: Abstinence, Arousal Problems, Birth Control, Cohabitation, Commitment, Communication, Couples Counseling, Desire /Lack of Desire, Sexual Technique.
During ejaculation I dont have any sensation at all and the semen just dribbles out. There is no build up of pressure followed by a release. Its just the release. Could my ejacualtory muscles died? Please help this is ruining my life. I've been to multiple specialists and they have said anatomically everything is fine with me.
Have you seen a urologist? One possibility that occurs to me is some change to your prostate, but this can only be diagnosed by a urologist. so I urge you to see one ASAP.
In addition, most men expect to have the desire and capacity of their 16-year-old selves for their entire lives. There may be no physical problems--only that you EXPECT your orgasms to always be the same as they were in your teens. Is it possible that you're confusing LESS sensation with NO sensation? Your sexuality will change with age, that that doesn't mean you can't still enjoy sex. It's just different--like if you're an athlete and you're used to running 5 miles a day; as you age, you may only run 2 miles a day. It's still as enjoyable, but you need to make some adjustments. Erections, desire, sensitivity: these all change during our lives. The trick is to realize that sex can be just as satisfying even though it's different than during your younger years. Dr. J
Yes, I've been to an urologist, endocrinologist, sex therapist ... all of them have said that anatomically nothing is wrong with me. But I can still tell something is really wrong. I'm not confusing lack of sensation with no sensation. Could i be suffering from some form of ejaculation dysfunction? My main concern is the lack of pressure during the release, which results in the semen just dribbling out
So you've exhausted all options except one: is it possible there's some emotional component here? If your urologist has ruled out any physical cause, that's all that's left. Are you aware of any reason you might be holding back?
It's possible you may need more stimulation during sexual activity, or you may need to delay sex until you’re very, very turned on. I’m also wondering how aroused you are by your partner(s). You could be bored, or perhaps the relationship isn’t satisfying to you.
There could be other reasons you’re not turned on: Men receive so many messages that sex is about “performance” and pleasing a partner, rather than just enjoying the pleasure of it. Everything is goal-oriented—like a football game. The other message that many men receive is that sex is somehow dirty and wrong, unless you’re doing it for reproductive purposes. Sometimes this can creep into our unconscious thoughts and sabotage any pleasure. Some men are very affected by cultural or family messages that unmarried women who have sex are somehow “dirty” or evil.
So, to recap: you may have negative attitudes about sex in general, or you may have performance issues or be bored or frustrated. Either way, it’s easy to get trapped in a cycle of trying too hard, which, in turn, just leads to more stress. Think about the issues I’ve raised and see if any are true for you.
Also try doing Kegel exercises daily, as your PC muscle may be weak. This can contribute to the lack of sensation. The PC muscle is the muscle that stretches from under your penis, up the shaft. Think of it as your "orgasm" muslce. It’s also related to the strength of your orgasmic contractions, so if it’s weak or flabby, your orgasms will be weak and flabby too. To strengthen your PC muscle, do Kegel exercises (named for the physician who discovered this clever little muscle). Luckily, the PC muscle also stops and starts the flow of urine, so it’s easy to locate. Just contract it as though you’re trying to hold back the flow of urine. Got it? Now begin a daily regimen of contracting and relaxing the muscle. It helps to associate it with something you do each day—like taking a shower.
Once your PC muscle is strong, you’ll probably notice a difference in your orgasmic intensity. Bonus!
And please don't put pressure on yourself. Just relax and enjoy whatever pleasurable feelings arise when you’re touched by your partner. Good luck! Dr. J
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