During masturbation some times it takes less then one minute to ejaculate to me. whether it is premature ejaculation. I am worried about my sexual life as I am going to get married soon.while talking to my girlfriend there is also precum without any erection in penis. Whether i would be able to have normal sex life please help and suggest what is it all and what to do? I am having precum with just talking to her,is it normal?
You are worrying about nothing; however, you need some accurate information about sexuality so that you can enjoy a long and happy sex life. There are lots of people who will give you misinformation, so pay attention and learn.
First, about "precum":
Your penis isn’t leaking. It’s behaving exactly as your body is telling it to do. When post-pubescent (adult) men become sexually aroused, a gland called the Cowper’s Gland, secretes a milky fluid, also known as "pre-come." Some men produce large amounts of this fluid, while others produce very little. Everyone is different. This fluid clears the urethra of uric acid prior to ejaculation. Without this fluid, many of the sperm carried in semen would be killed or damaged by the acid contained in urine. So when you get turned on, that’s what happens: Cowper’s Gland fluid comes out the end of your penis. There's no reason to worry.
Here's some information about lasting longer:
During their early self-pleasuring experiments, many men learn a very quick orgasm pattern in order to avoid detection—like in the bathroom (“You’ve been in there for hours! What are you doing?”) So if you learned to come quickly when being sexual with yourself, that can also set up a lifelong pattern. Learning to come quickly with a partner can also set up this pattern. Guilt and anxiety about sex may also create a situation where some men just want to get it over with quickly so they won’t have to deal with any of those feelings. And, of course, if you’re focused on “performing,” rather than just enjoying yourself, your penis can become incredibly stubborn and uncooperative.
Once you learn to control your orgasm, realize that each man has an individual orgasmic pattern unique to him. A lot of this anxiety about “premature” ejaculation is based on paranoia, and the idea that it's somehow ideal to have erections last way longer than they tend to realistically for most men, most of the time. Sure, sometimes, a man might last 15 minutes, 30 minutes, even an hour, but 75% of all males have an orgasm within 2 minutes of beginning penis-vagina (p-v) sex. Are you thinking that if you last longer, somehow your partner will have an orgasm during p-v sex? The fact is that most women DON’T orgasm during p-v sex. It’s a much more effective way for men to orgasm than women, so please don’t attempt to reach some kind of “orgasmic goal” because you think it will ultimately please her.
That said, here are some techniques for lasting longer:
First, slow down during self-pleasuring and unlearn that old pattern of quick orgasm. You state that as soon as you touch yourself, you orgasm. You need to tune into what's going on in your head. What are you thinking about just before you touch yourself? Are you relaxed and turned on, or are you feeling anxious, guilty, conflicted? This can set up a pattern of quick orgasm.
Try just thinking something sexual and letting your penis get erect, and then think about something non-sexual and let your penis relax. Do this many, many times in order to get the sense of control.
Then try teasing yourself by touching yourself just once, then backing off and relaxing, and then beginning again. This will give you a sense of control as well as teach you to recognize your own point of no return (when you know you're about to have an orgasm, no matter what). Another thing to try is when you feel yourself getting close to orgasm, relax, breathe deeply, and cease movement. Some men also find they last longer if they have an orgasm on their own awhile before beginning partner sex. This tends to take the edge off, if you will.
Once you feel in control of your orgasm, you can also examine whether you have any feelings of discomfort with being sexual—either with yourself or with a partner. These feelings of discomfort can create extreme conflict and cause you to feel the need to get it over with quickly. If you look at sex as something to finish quickly—get it up, get it in, get it off—you’ll need to let go of that old mentality. And naturally, if there are any relationship conflicts or you’re angry or feeling resentful about your partner, these can also contribute to wanting to get it over with. In addition, these feelings can also inhibit erections with a partner. I highly recommend the book, "The New Male Sexuality," by Bernie Zilbergeld, Ph.D., widely available on line, both used and in paperback. This book has helped thousands of men to better understand their sexuality. Best of luck to you. Dr. J
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