Masturbation?

[Alfonz]

Hi, kind of embarrassed even posting this, but just wanted to know. I'm in my early 20's now and have been masturbating since I was around14-15. Never became an obsession, just something that I did and I always thought that I would grow out of it. Well now, I masturbate about 1-2 times per day, almost without fail, even if I haven't been doing or thinking anything sexual, just one of my normal habits now.
I just wanted to know if this was normal and healthy for someone my age. I've heard of it reducing prostate cancer, but I'm more talking about mental and relationship health. Should I make more of an effort to stop, or is this healthy? I would appreciate any insights/stories/advice. Thanks!

[Janice M Epp, PhD]

Hi Alfonz:

Almost everyone feels insecure about masturbation—or self-pleasuring. We all want to know that what WE do is OK. From your note, it looks like you feel that it’s somehow harmful or wrong. It sounds like you’re worried that self-pleasuring is some kind of “condition” or illness. Not true.

There are no data to indicate that self-pleasuring is in any way harmful or that there's an optimum number of times per day, or an age to start or stop, or any of the other myths you're likely to hear. In fact, most peoples' "facts" about self-pleasuring are really just uninformed opinions based on fear and misinformation.

Everyone is different, and everyone has differing sexual interests. There’s no optimum rate of self-pleasuring. For some of us, three times a day is just right, while for others, three times a year is all they desire—and everything in between.

Please stop worrying and enjoy your life. Accept self-pleasuring as a wonderful gift that keeps on giving.

Here are some facts about self-pleasuring:

It’s the surest way to orgasm and the most effective way to learn about our sexual response cycle, as well as the surest way men to learn orgasmic control.  If you feel you come too quickly, the surest way to slow down is to teach yourself a new pattern via self-pleasuring.

Another advantage is self-knowledge: How can you show a partner what you like if you don’t know yourself?

And the #1 reason for self-pleasuring: it’s fun!

Self-pleasuring is a part of who you are sexually—for your whole life, not just when you don’t have a partner. People self-pleasure from birth to death, when they’re alone and when they’re partnered. It’s just one of many options we have as sexual beings. It’s not better or worse than partner sex, just different—like steak is different than chicken.

Remember that all our scientific data show that the people who take responsibility for their OWN pleasure have the best sex lives and rate themselves as happiest about their sexuality. Dr. J

[ForestAnimal]

Masturbation is perfectly normal. I too masturbated at least once a day until I met my partner (now I usually have sex at least once a day). I don't even have to fantasize about anything. I can't even go to sleep unless I've released sexual tension. I get very cranky if I don't. Starting around 14 years of age is normal from stories I've heard, though I haven't researched that. Personally, I started when I was 5 years old, and even climaxed nearly every time. No one believes me when I tell them, but it's true. As far as mental health, I wouldn't advise porn because it usually doesn't make for healthy relationships and can deeply hurt your partner. Other than that, it's pretty healthy. It's a good way to release tension, and a natural part of life. You'll probably continue doing it for many years to come. It's good that it isn't an obsession.

[longleggedfly]

If you are currently single then I think it is fine and normal. If you have a sexual partner then maybe frequent masturbation is an indication that there are problems in your relationship? I went through stages in my late teens and early 20's where I felt I needed to masturbate everyday. During periods of time where I was bored such as holidays I would do it many times a day as it was fun, pleasurable and something to do. I used to be worried it was an obsession and that it would create issues in future relationships, but I have a partner now and we have been together a year and a half. We are both fairly horny people and have sex on average at least once a day and I never even feel like masturbating cos he satisfies that need. Sometimes he goes away for work in which case masturbation is good for relieving sexual tension. Often I'll 'save myself' till he gets back though, must be love :p. For males there are long term health benefits to regular ejaculation. (Regular being numerous times a week, I guess anything more than that is a bonus :p). It also helps to maintain sexual health while you aren't having sex. (Quantity and quality of semen etc) As long as you aren't doing anything damaging to your body or another person, go for it.

[ronj33]

A related discussion, masterbating (masturbating) was started.