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1670282 tn?1303670715

My Boyfriend wont sleep with me, but says he loves me.

I started dating my current boyfriend about 6 months ago, we lived in different states but we got along really well, he asked me to move closer so I did.
He is on antidepressants. Paroxetine and Trazadone.  Which I figured where his reason for low libido.          
The furthest that we have gotten is a ******** and he never got off, he would stop me before he could and said he was no where close.
I looked through his email and chat logs a couple of days ago and I found some very suspicious things; a lot of video chats and references to things.  Most of them though were before we started 'dating' but was while we were talking so I passed it off as 'he was a single man. he had the right to do whatever.'
He frequented dating sites, and talked to a lot of girls on there.. who he often said before were 'sluts' or 'dirty' they just sent him pictures without him asking at times.
I was nervous but waited another day and then looked in his phone. I feel terrible about this, but I found two suggestive pictures of a nude female in his phone. ( who he is friends with and often had video chats) we were dating at the time.
I confronted him, and he told me everything about how he didn't think I'd be the type of girl to send pictures to him like that, that he was unable to reach me when he asked for those pictures from her.. he said he felt awful about it but he didn't want to lose me, so he didn't tell me.
He told me that when he runs out of his medicine he becomes hyper-sexual and can not control himself. That when he gets 'horny' he HAS to finish and that he will do whatever it takes. He told me that he didn't like feeling like that, like he turned into a different person when that happened.. I'm concerned about what this may mean.. I love him, he really is a sweet caring man, but I need an outside view, help?
2 Responses
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523042 tn?1212177895
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Hello.

I'm not clear on what you're getting out of this relationship or why you're in it. It's also unclear as to whether your boyfriend is committed to your relationship and whether he's turned onto you sexually.

There's only one way to find out: talk with him. You need some honest communication about what's happening.

Also: the anti-depressants he's taking can interfere with sexual desire and function. If he's interested in alternatives, he should see a psychiatrist about some alternative medications, such as Wellbutrin, which aren't associated with these side effects. Best of luck to you. Dr. J
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
He doesn't sound like he respects you at all.

I'd be seriously considering whether you want to spend any more time with this person.  It doesn't sound like you have a lot of trust at the moment.  And would you ever?  It would always be in the back of your mind.

You may be better off cutting your losses and being thankful that you haven't had a child with this person.
Helpful - 0

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