Aa
My boyfriend is a serious porn addict and is effecting our relationship!
I have gotten to the point where i just want to leave him.. we've known each other for about 7 yrs but we got together last year... i knew he would occasionally watch porn, i would watch it with him.. We moved in together about 8 mnths ago, and thats wen i started noticing, it was not occasional.. he has a favorite website that is free, and visits it about 8xs a day.. i confronted him about it how it makes me feel like im not good enough and i dont like it.. he says "well thats to bad cuz ALL men do it" i do understand that, but hes not single he has me if hes in the mood.. he doesnt need his hand and other women to look at... i eventually got over it until one night... my daughter was asleep n i was lying next to her, he was laying on the couch about 5 ft away from the bed... i saw his legs moving quite alot, so i kinda snuck around the couch to see porn on the laptop with him under the sheets playing with himself... i was like are you kidding me!? first my daughter is right in the room, second I AM ALSO IN THE ROOM if he was so in the mood, why would he choose the porn over an actual vagina? i started crying so i went outside... he didnt come out to talk to me till he was "done" -_- he told me he has a problem for me to block porn sites on the laptop... so i did.. ever since i did, he pretty much begs me to give him the password everyday... at least 3xs a day... its been blocked for 3 mnths, found out he has some videos saved on his USB, so i deleted everything... today i was on frost wire n saw at least 50 videos that he downloaded within a 3 day span... and saved them on his portable hard drive... he saw me with the hard drive and literaly ran to me and was trying to wrestle it out of my hands... Its like he cares more about watching porn, than my own feelings... PORN is number one to him.. he will argue n fight to keep at it... what should i do?! please help me
I had the same problem, My bf was always watching porn. I'm hispanic he is black, all the ex's are asian. all he was watching was Asian porn. I confronted him a couple of times and asked him why he was with me? He would say he was just watching it. He stopped little by little. now he doesnt watch it at all.
Cmon girl. You sound llike a great woman. I mean if he would rather touch himself, then get away from him.
If you come up to north carolina, I will show you how a real man treats a woman. Sex is not a demand. It is a mutual act between two people. If it is not mutual it is no fun. You sound like you even have a good sex drive. I have kids too and your bf's actions are ridiculous. Respect yourself and get away from that dude.
If you come up to north carolina, I will show you how a real man treats a woman. Sex is not a demand. It is a mutual act between two people. If it is not mutual it is no fun. You sound like you even have a good sex drive. I have kids too and your bf's actions are ridiculous. Respect yourself and get away from that dude.
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Hello
Porn is the least of your worries. Let's look at what you've told me:
1. He's insensitive to your feelings
2. He'd rather be sexual with himself than with you
It sounds to me like this relationship is going nowhere fast. I have no idea how he feels about you, but if what you say is true, it doesn't sound as though he's that engaged in the relationship and that he's using erotica as a means of escape.
Please don’t fall into the trap of believing unscientific explanations for others’ behavior by labeling someone’s behavior an “addiction.” Some substances can be addictive (e.g., heroin), while some peoples’ behaviors can be compulsive (e.g., constantly washing hands because of germ phobia), other behaviors are merely habits or dependencies. There is no way of telling whether this is the case with your boyfriend because he can’t be here to discuss his feelings in his own words. Because it’s new, the Internet is scary for many, and it’s easy to look for simple answers to complex problems. Well-meaning people will quote all kinds of stories, but most of these are just unsubstantiated opinions, not grounded in science. Remember that when automobiles were invented, it was predicted they’d destroy women’s “morals.” Same with the telephone. Many of these sites that predict porn damage are based on moralistic views, not science.
Which brings me to my last point. You need to get some perspective and insight about your own feelings of self-worth. Clearly, his activities are triggering some insecurity in you. And the two of you need to talk with each other about what each of your expectations is of the relationship. If he truly feels that looking at erotica is a problem for him (not because of you, but because of his own feelings), then he should see a therapist who is trained to help people with sexual issues. You cannot be involved in that process; it has to be his own. The worst mistake some women make is to set themselves up as “behavior sheriffs” because their partners then inevitably begin to feel guilty if they screw up, and guilt is the enemy of sexual attraction. If he's unwilling to talk with someone about this, then you have to decide whether you want to continue in this relationship. Best of luck to you. Dr. J
Porn is the least of your worries. Let's look at what you've told me:
1. He's insensitive to your feelings
2. He'd rather be sexual with himself than with you
It sounds to me like this relationship is going nowhere fast. I have no idea how he feels about you, but if what you say is true, it doesn't sound as though he's that engaged in the relationship and that he's using erotica as a means of escape.
Please don’t fall into the trap of believing unscientific explanations for others’ behavior by labeling someone’s behavior an “addiction.” Some substances can be addictive (e.g., heroin), while some peoples’ behaviors can be compulsive (e.g., constantly washing hands because of germ phobia), other behaviors are merely habits or dependencies. There is no way of telling whether this is the case with your boyfriend because he can’t be here to discuss his feelings in his own words. Because it’s new, the Internet is scary for many, and it’s easy to look for simple answers to complex problems. Well-meaning people will quote all kinds of stories, but most of these are just unsubstantiated opinions, not grounded in science. Remember that when automobiles were invented, it was predicted they’d destroy women’s “morals.” Same with the telephone. Many of these sites that predict porn damage are based on moralistic views, not science.
Which brings me to my last point. You need to get some perspective and insight about your own feelings of self-worth. Clearly, his activities are triggering some insecurity in you. And the two of you need to talk with each other about what each of your expectations is of the relationship. If he truly feels that looking at erotica is a problem for him (not because of you, but because of his own feelings), then he should see a therapist who is trained to help people with sexual issues. You cannot be involved in that process; it has to be his own. The worst mistake some women make is to set themselves up as “behavior sheriffs” because their partners then inevitably begin to feel guilty if they screw up, and guilt is the enemy of sexual attraction. If he's unwilling to talk with someone about this, then you have to decide whether you want to continue in this relationship. Best of luck to you. Dr. J
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