This forum is for questions and support regarding relationship issues such as: Abstinence, Arousal Problems, Birth Control, Cohabitation, Commitment, Communication, Couples Counseling, Desire /Lack of Desire, Sexual Technique.
I am 53 yrs old, I have been married to my wife for 14 yrs. I had an affair 5 yrs ago and my wife found out and confronted me about it. I was very remorseful and I then was told to start making amends for what I did. I tried but I don't have any sexual feeling for her or anyone else. I keep getting told by my wife that I need to make love to her and to show her that I really love her. She keeps bringing up the affair and I have made love to her maybe 12 times since the affair. When I do I feel like it a way to shut her up or some kind of token jesture. Please help me.
So let me get this straight: your wife is forcing you to have sex with her, and she keeps bringing up something from the past that you feel bad about. And you wonder why you don't want to have sex with her?
She needs to post to me; not you. You're probably feeling guilty about the affair, especially since she keeps bringing it up. Obviously, it's unfinished business between the two of you. If you seriously want to stay married to your wife and move your relationship past this, the two of you need to see a counselor who is trained to help people talk about sexual issues. If you'd like a referral to someone in your area, send me a private message with your location. Best of luck to you. Dr. J
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