This forum is for questions and support regarding relationship issues such as: Abstinence, Arousal Problems, Birth Control, Cohabitation, Commitment, Communication, Couples Counseling, Desire /Lack of Desire, Sexual Technique.
Hi there -- I usually have sex with my boyfriend once a day and it's fine, if a bit boring. He only can ejaculate from one position, with me on top. In the two years we've been together, he's only *** once from having sex with me in a down dog position. He also masturbates a lot and watches a lot of porn. A LOT. So would you say that he's impeded physically and mentally?
I love him, but it's boring ALWAYS being on top, leaning forward and knowing exactly when he's going to ejaculate.
When we have sex in other positions, he gets really soft and he has to lay down to finish with me on top again. So it's not as intense as I'd like it to be.
It's definitely been an issue with me because I am bored and he sees it. He loves me, says he's attracted to me, but it's just frustrating.
We're both 25. I'm pretty fit and I like athletic, rough sex, but he's a bit overweight (290 at 5'10") so that's an impetus I accept. Sometimes, when we're having sex and he's on the bottom, he gets a tightness in his stomach or cramps in his legs or a sharp tightness in his legs. So I have to give him oral sex to get him hard again. And I usually give him oral sex twice while I'm riding him anyway.
It's just an annoying situation that we've talked endlessly about.
So I guess I'm posing a few questions -- first, about the cramping and tightness he feels while I'm riding him.
Second, why is he so akin to one position?? What can I do or he do to stop that habit??
Many, many thanks.
First, you ask me why your bf prefers one position, and I'll tell you the same thing I tell everyone who asks me about someone else: there's only one way to find out: ASK HIM. I can't tell you anything about your bf--only he can do that.
You also asked: "So would you say that he's impeded physically and mentally?" You think someone is “mentally impeded” because they can only orgasm in one position? How would you feel if someone asked that about you? He’s obviously not getting enough stimulation from other positions, and this one gives him what he needs. But, again, I can't speak for him. Let him speak for himself.
One complicating factor is his weight. Healthy weight for a 5’10” man is between 145 and 180 lbs.. At 290, your bf is extremely overweight—unhealthily so. This is obviously impacting his health and his sexual response.
Time for the two of you to sit down and discuss these issues. If you're not comfortable talking together about sex, you might want to consult a counselor who is trained to help people talk about sexual concerns. Best of luck to you. Dr. J
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