This forum is for questions and support regarding relationship issues such as: Abstinence, Arousal Problems, Birth Control, Cohabitation, Commitment, Communication, Couples Counseling, Desire /Lack of Desire, Sexual Technique.
Well, let me take out my crystal ball and ask it...
Seriously, since I don't know you or your body or your history, I can't give you an answer. I suspect that if you examine your feelings, attitudes, etc., you might come up with some clues. Or perhaps you just don't receive enough stimulation from oral sex. This is quite common--especially as men age. More intense stimulation is needed for orgasm. Your head may also be getting in the way, distracting you with negative or anxious thoughts. Here's where a hot fantasy can short-circuit any of that negative thinking.
Regarding self-pleasuring: again, perhaps not enough stimulation--or perhaps on some level you're not as comfortable with self-pleasuring. Or maybe you're distracted. Again, a hot fantasy may help you. Best of luck. Dr. J.
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