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Over-masturbation?
Hello,
I had a question regarding over-masturbation. I'm 18 and i have been masturbating almost daily for about 6 months. I am also not sexually active. Yesterday i was showering and began to masturbate. It was fine at first but about halfway through i noticed my penis lost most of it rigidity. I was still able to orgasm though. I felt a little odd and got worried, so i tried to achieve an erection today just to make sure nothing was wrong. I was not able to achieve an erection when i tried. I was really worried that i might not be able to urinate also, but i was(not sure if that has any relevance though). What could possibly be wrong? What can i do?
I had a question regarding over-masturbation. I'm 18 and i have been masturbating almost daily for about 6 months. I am also not sexually active. Yesterday i was showering and began to masturbate. It was fine at first but about halfway through i noticed my penis lost most of it rigidity. I was still able to orgasm though. I felt a little odd and got worried, so i tried to achieve an erection today just to make sure nothing was wrong. I was not able to achieve an erection when i tried. I was really worried that i might not be able to urinate also, but i was(not sure if that has any relevance though). What could possibly be wrong? What can i do?
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Hello.
First, about your foreskin: If it's so tight that it's inhibiting your ability to get turned on, you might want to see a urologist for an exam. S/he can tell you whether the tightness could cause you some problems. Generally, if it's not inhibiting you and isn't painful, it shouldn't be a problem. However, since I'm not a urologist and I can't examine you, I can't really give you an opinion about this.
Take a deep breath. There's nothing wrong with you. No medical expert recognizes “over-masturbation” because there is no scientific evidence that there is any such thing, just as there’s no such thing as “under-masturbation.”
Self-pleasuring doesn’t affect your body in any negative way. What it CAN do, like any strenuous exercise, is either energize you or make you feel tired. Exercise affects everyone different, so it’s possible that after an orgasm, you feel tired, the same way as after a brisk work-out. And you know that later, you’ll regain your energy.
It sounds to me like you've made yourself anxious by all this worrying about "achieving" an erection, so no wonder your penis didn't cooperate! The more you try to "achieve" something, the more your body will shut down. You've created a self-fulfilling prophesy by worrying yourself into this emotional state. Sex is about pleasure, not achievement. The sooner you realize that, the more comfortable you'll be with yourself as a sexual being.
Let’s talk about what we DO know about self-pleasuring.
It’s the surest way to orgasm and the most effective way to learn about our sexual response cycle, as well as the surest way men to learn orgasmic control. If you feel you come too quickly, the surest way to slow down is to teach yourself a new pattern via self-pleasuring.
Another advantage is self-knowledge: How can you show a partner what you like if you don’t know yourself?
And the #1 reason for self-pleasuring: it’s fun!
Self-pleasuring is a part of who you are sexually—for your whole life, not just when you don’t have a partner. People self-pleasure from birth to death, when they’re alone and when they’re partnered. It’s just one of many options we have as sexual beings. It’s not better or worse than partner sex, just different—like steak is different than chicken.
Remember that all our scientific data show that the people who take responsibility for their OWN pleasure have the best sex lives and rate themselves as happiest about their sexuality. So please stop torturing yourself, accept your sexuality as a gift and start enjoying life.
About your erection concerns: Erections go up and down. You’ll find this happening all your life. It doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy sex, but you have to let go of such a narrow definition of what constitutes “good.”
Much of your problem is due to your attitude. Once you experienced anything less than a “strong” erection, you started feeling anxious and judging yourself, which can be a vicious circle. The more you worry about erections, the more your penis won’t cooperate. In fact, it can be downright rebellious!
Many men feel that if their erection goes down even a tiny bit, there’s something wrong with them. Where does this come from?
Men receive so many messages that sex is about “performance” and pleasing a partner, rather than just enjoying the pleasure of it. Everything is goal-oriented—like a football game. The other message that many men receive is that sex is somehow dirty and wrong, unless you’re doing it for reproductive purposes. Sometimes this can creep into our unconscious thoughts and sabotage any pleasure. Ask yourself whether you have any conflicts about being sexual—any old messages that might be lurking in your subconscious.
Your body is working fine—it’s your heart/brain that’s getting in the way. For more information about erection issues, attitude, etc., I highly recommend the book “The New Male Sexuality” by Bernie Zilbergeld, Ph.D. It’s widely available both used and in paperback and is an invaluable resource.
Relax, stop putting pressure on yourself and enjoy sex for what it is: pleasure. Give yourself permission to enjoy whatever happens. Best of luck to you. Dr. J
First, about your foreskin: If it's so tight that it's inhibiting your ability to get turned on, you might want to see a urologist for an exam. S/he can tell you whether the tightness could cause you some problems. Generally, if it's not inhibiting you and isn't painful, it shouldn't be a problem. However, since I'm not a urologist and I can't examine you, I can't really give you an opinion about this.
Take a deep breath. There's nothing wrong with you. No medical expert recognizes “over-masturbation” because there is no scientific evidence that there is any such thing, just as there’s no such thing as “under-masturbation.”
Self-pleasuring doesn’t affect your body in any negative way. What it CAN do, like any strenuous exercise, is either energize you or make you feel tired. Exercise affects everyone different, so it’s possible that after an orgasm, you feel tired, the same way as after a brisk work-out. And you know that later, you’ll regain your energy.
It sounds to me like you've made yourself anxious by all this worrying about "achieving" an erection, so no wonder your penis didn't cooperate! The more you try to "achieve" something, the more your body will shut down. You've created a self-fulfilling prophesy by worrying yourself into this emotional state. Sex is about pleasure, not achievement. The sooner you realize that, the more comfortable you'll be with yourself as a sexual being.
Let’s talk about what we DO know about self-pleasuring.
It’s the surest way to orgasm and the most effective way to learn about our sexual response cycle, as well as the surest way men to learn orgasmic control. If you feel you come too quickly, the surest way to slow down is to teach yourself a new pattern via self-pleasuring.
Another advantage is self-knowledge: How can you show a partner what you like if you don’t know yourself?
And the #1 reason for self-pleasuring: it’s fun!
Self-pleasuring is a part of who you are sexually—for your whole life, not just when you don’t have a partner. People self-pleasure from birth to death, when they’re alone and when they’re partnered. It’s just one of many options we have as sexual beings. It’s not better or worse than partner sex, just different—like steak is different than chicken.
Remember that all our scientific data show that the people who take responsibility for their OWN pleasure have the best sex lives and rate themselves as happiest about their sexuality. So please stop torturing yourself, accept your sexuality as a gift and start enjoying life.
About your erection concerns: Erections go up and down. You’ll find this happening all your life. It doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy sex, but you have to let go of such a narrow definition of what constitutes “good.”
Much of your problem is due to your attitude. Once you experienced anything less than a “strong” erection, you started feeling anxious and judging yourself, which can be a vicious circle. The more you worry about erections, the more your penis won’t cooperate. In fact, it can be downright rebellious!
Many men feel that if their erection goes down even a tiny bit, there’s something wrong with them. Where does this come from?
Men receive so many messages that sex is about “performance” and pleasing a partner, rather than just enjoying the pleasure of it. Everything is goal-oriented—like a football game. The other message that many men receive is that sex is somehow dirty and wrong, unless you’re doing it for reproductive purposes. Sometimes this can creep into our unconscious thoughts and sabotage any pleasure. Ask yourself whether you have any conflicts about being sexual—any old messages that might be lurking in your subconscious.
Your body is working fine—it’s your heart/brain that’s getting in the way. For more information about erection issues, attitude, etc., I highly recommend the book “The New Male Sexuality” by Bernie Zilbergeld, Ph.D. It’s widely available both used and in paperback and is an invaluable resource.
Relax, stop putting pressure on yourself and enjoy sex for what it is: pleasure. Give yourself permission to enjoy whatever happens. Best of luck to you. Dr. J
One more thing,
i am also uncircumsized and my foreskin is very tight and can not fold back to reveal my glans penis.
I regrettably have very little knowledge of anything dealing with circumcision/not being circumsized. I was not told anything. Could you please inform me of things i need to know?
i am also uncircumsized and my foreskin is very tight and can not fold back to reveal my glans penis.
I regrettably have very little knowledge of anything dealing with circumcision/not being circumsized. I was not told anything. Could you please inform me of things i need to know?
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