This forum is for questions and support regarding relationship issues such as: Abstinence, Arousal Problems, Birth Control, Cohabitation, Commitment, Communication, Couples Counseling, Desire /Lack of Desire, Sexual Technique.
My significant other was having issues with his parathyroid which caused depression, lack of energy, no interest in anything. He was put on Effexor. I got pregnant over a year ago. Upon the arrival of the baby, there was so much going on that he didn't have the energy for and it began to irritate him. He decided to start abusing oxycontins. I found out about this and of course things got heated. He did go through detox and was placed on suboxone (opiate blocker). After this he ended up getting his parathyroid removed and seems better, but still takes the effexor and suboxone everyday. We have not had sex since the date of CONCEIVING my daughter. I have been very patient with this, but as time keeps passing by, it becomes bothersome as well.
I have been very supportive and don't want to force him to come off the medications unless he is ready and comfortable as we cannot go down that bad road again. Is there ANYTHING that can be done that can bring back his sexual desire? Please help.
Unfortunetly I don't have any answers. I am going through the same thing though. Only my fiance is still taking oxy's. He tried the suboxone and it didn't work. He just got sick and vomitted all the time and stayed sleepy. He does need something for pain but I am at the end of my rope. We have been together for 7 months and only tried twice. He couldn't do anything either time. He isn't affectionate, but he does tell me he loves me and I get kisses several times a day. But not passionate kisses. I know he isn't cheating or anything because we are always together plus I have played detective to make sure. We tried a couple of things from GNC, one is called Cobra, the other is yohimbe extract. We also tried Enzyte. All with no sucess. He also bought Viagra or Cialis one and it didn't work. These are things that have worked for other people though. Worth a shot for you. Each runs about $30 except the Viagra and Cialis. I have drove myself crazy with this too so know that you aren't alone. If you need to talk, feel free to message me here. Good luck, I know we need it.
my boyfriend is on subutex (same stuff alomost but without Naloxone) after about 10 years of H addiction (clean period of 2 years in between). We've been together for a couple of weeks only
We do have sex quite regularly, but I also wonder if the buprenorphine is cutting down his sex drive a bit. Our sex is quite quiet and he hardly ever takes the initiative. I don't want to ask him about his sex life before me - I only asked him once if he really goes for having sex... I know that the side effects of buprenorphine are tiredness, floppiness etc...
Well, it seems that's true, however, I'm glad we do have sex ;o), but it could be a bit wilder :o)
He isn't prude or uptight - he's even had more one-night-stands than I had before I met him ;o) and I'm used to men having a much stronger sex drive....
In the beginning I was even more inhibited... He will be decreasing the dose, however, some day, and I wonder if it gets better then...
my husband had an opiate addiction which made him completely loose his sex drive. He got on the suboxone under the care of a wonderful doctor and was off it in two months. now drug free except they have him on an antidepressant he still has no sex drive either. So i don't know what to tell you.
My husband is also on Suboxone, going on almost a year now.... I don't think he'll ever get off of it but I'm okay with that. As long as he's taking the Suboxone I know he's not doing anything else.
My problem is sex. It's really getting me frustrated. I started marking on the calender the dates that we do have sex just out of curiosity to see how long we were going. About a month, and we only have sex because I'll through in a joke/comment or two. But I'm frustrated. He is having wet dreams EVERY NIGHT. ?????? How come he can do it in his sleep but not while he is awake?????? I feel like... tortured, I guess. How can I get him into the mood? You can only be patient for so long... if you think about it the other way we're only have sex MAYBE 12 times a year! Please throw me some advise, I'll take any!! Thanks
I'm in the same boat. My husband just went on Suboxone again..he started using opiates heavily for about a month and I couldn't take it anymore. Our sex life has plummeted to next to nothing. Personally, I'm looking into separating..it's gone on for too long and I don't think he has any motiviation to really get better since he has the constant crutch of me around. I just won't waste my life waiting around for him to get "better". I've been doing it for our entire relationship practically and I'm done. He is falling short in other areas of our relationship too so this isn't the only thing, but it's the straw for me
wet dreams are an elimination method for excess fluid... They are not voluntary, but its a sign he is not anorgasmac, just a low libido. The med he is on cause it (low libido) in most men... changing to talk therapy will help if he is able to start functioning without the med, but, its so much easier to just take a pill your going to have to motivate him. Have you communicated how much this is affecting you? have you been trying to start relations? And i dont mean just a bump on the hip or a wink or a subtle hint, i mean direct communication that says in no uncertain terms "lets have sex". Often men just cant read women and if we dont have the right clues, we dont know you are in need of closeness.... If our libido is off then we just wont think to initiate sex, but often will follow through when the opportunity is presented.. Is he able to function when he tries? Does ne need pharmaceutical help? Don't be afraid to be aggressive about this, we guys can be dumb when it comes to sex.. lol...
Oh ya, after opiate abuse, he needs to have a full hormonal check up, 9/10th of the time he will have damage to his testosterone system and have LOW testosterone, resulting in low libido... That problem is easy to cure with a patch, gell, or shot....
In most relationships...most of the time it is the male partner that instigates the act of lovemaking...however having a male partner on opiates (for pain or pleasure) and a quasi-opiate like Suboxone lowers the physical and emotional drive...so for a change the female partner has to be sexually assertive and take the first steps. I found that when I was on painkillers I had no sex drive...but my wife worked at it and lo and behold the erections happened but I couldn't ejaculate so I stayed erect for very long periods of time...my wife loved this. I imagine if I had used something like Viagra it would have been more intense . Also feeling somewhat guilty I gave my wife a whole lot more oral sex which she loves.
it is good to know that I am not alone in this. I get a lot of the I love you's and I will never leave you and the multiple kisses too, but none of them are passionate kisses. I can't even try to approach him about sex or try to be the one to take the first step as he has no desire what-so-ever...he can't even stand seeing two people kiss on TV. Changes the channel immediately.
One plus may be that his doctor is starting to wean him off the suboxone...he said he is comfortable with this and it should take about 70 days....THE COUNTDOWN IS ON. I hope is ok when he comes off of it and everything starts to come back to normal. Please pray as I am not sure how much longer I can handle this.
I am so glad I found this discussion. I was wondering if I was the only one. I have the same problem and it has been driving me so crazy. My boyfriend of a year and a half has the same problem. I have even almost begged him to have sex. I to am at my wits end. Thats why I have been up since 4:30 am not able to sleep. Well, a big reason why. For us it has been about 5 times in the last 6 months. I just want to give up, but I know he can't help it. It has caused so many other problems to. I just want things to be normal again...hopefully soon..
I'm glad I'm not the only one too...my husband and I have only had sex once in almost 2 months and it really is frustrating! Anytime we try he says he can't feel anything or is too tired...I know it's the suboxone but sometimes I can't help but feel like it's somewhat because of me...
I am also in this boat. My husband is an opiate addict and is on buprenorphine. We have not had sex in 6 months, before that is was 4 months, so that is only 2x per year! At this rate it will be completely nonexistent and he seems quite content with this. No kisses . No cuddling. Nothing. It is a polite platonic relationship and it is making me angry. Seriously contemplating divorce. I think he is being cruel and unfair to expect this out of me. He has no pain issues, he could get off this if he wanted to but he is obviously choosing to stay married to the drug and not to me. I see this as pure selfish thoughtless and rude. Addiction is a very self centered disease. I hate it.
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