This forum is for questions and support regarding relationship issues such as: Abstinence, Arousal Problems, Birth Control, Cohabitation, Commitment, Communication, Couples Counseling, Desire /Lack of Desire, Sexual Technique.
I was diagnosed with genital herpes a couple months back and have since entered into a relationship but we have not gone into the sexual portion of a relationship yet. I recently informed him of my condition. While he still wants to be with me, he is understandably hesitant to perform any kind of sexual act. He's asked me many questions about it, trying to educate himself and I've answered to the best of my ability from what my doctor told me, but there were a couple of questions that I didn't know the answer to. . . is it possible to get herpes from "fingering" a woman or from the fluids that end up on the bedsheets? We are both very much aware that oral is out of the question, condoms must be used, and no sex during an outbreak. If there are any other precautions that we should take please let me know.
To reduce his risk of contracting herpes you'll want to use condoms AND spermicide (which also kills viruses). He can also use finger cots if he wishes to put a finger inside you. Finger cots are available at most pharmacies; they look like a latex condom that slips over one finger. However, he should not insert his finger past the end of the finger cot.
I'm not sure about bedsheet fluids, but I think the risk is low. However, check the page on genital herpes on this site for more complete information. Dr. J
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