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Sexuality & Relationships  (Expert Forum)
 | 
Tearing Potential / Problems / Etc., from Frequent Anal Sex
Answered by
Pepper Schwartz, Ph.D. - Sexuality, family, Sexual Identity
This forum is for questions and support regarding relationship issues such as: Abstinence, Arousal Problems, Birth Control, Cohabitation, Commitment, Communication, Couples Counseling, Desire /Lack of Desire, Sexual Technique.

Tearing Potential / Problems / Etc., from Frequent Anal Sex

by MarkJohnson, Jul 30, 2007 12:00AM
My girlfriend and I are both 25 and have been together for well over a year. When we first started dating, I got tested for all of the common types of STDs that my primary care physician recommended I get tested for and everything came back with great results.

My girlfriend really enjoys anal sex. She's able to orgasm from it alone (no other stimulation) and we both feel it adds something exciting to our sex life. However, she's concerned about having anal sex often for fear of any tearing problems, incontinence, etc., that might happen as a result of frequent anal sex (my definition of frequent is once or twice a week).

I've done my research and have looked into this and we make sure to use PLENTY of lube. When I think I've put enough lube on, I put more on. I frequently ask her if she's OK during sex (both anal sex and vaginal sex), and I go at her own pace. We have great communication but I figured it best to post here for a word from an expert.

I've read on some sites that tearing / incontinence / other issues are a result of forced entry, careless anal sex behavior, and rushed or poorly lubricated sessions. She has never complained of any pain and there has never been any bleeding (and I was nearly all the way in at 7"+). Are we OK to have anal sex a few times a week?

Love this web site. It's an amazing resource. Thanks for your help.

by Pepper Schwartz, Ph.D., Aug 02, 2007 12:00AM

   As far as I know , anal sex , done with lubrication and care for the other person, should not cause tearing - especially since it has not already.  I don't think it will cause incontinence but it wil relax those muscles over time and so there might be a less tight seal in the anal area over time , possibly making it harder to do a totally effective anal wipe without some care.. This doesnt necessarily happen- but I have had some anecodotal comments on this from older women who have had a lot of anal sex over a lifetime. --

  I would ask a doctor who has more medical information than I have. I am a  Ph.D and my information on anal sex is from their accounts rather than medical examinations.. Do try one of the docs on the site to see what they say
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