Sexuality & Relationships Expert Forum
Too much?.....
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Too much?.....

I recently discovered that my soon to be husband is mastrubating more than I had any idea. We have a fun sex life. I never refuse sex and love to play. I am not saying I never do it myself but it happens once in a while when he's unavailable. He watches porn in his office and mastrubates every other day. It makes me feel really uncomfortable and I have no idea if it's a problem or not.
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Please stop worrying. You and your partner enjoy each other, and your sex life is happy. Lucky you!

I have a question for you: how much is too much pizza? Or TV? My point is that there’s no such thing as too much self-pleasuring. There’s only what works best for each of us. Some people self-pleasure three times a day, three times a week, three times a month, never, etc. When it comes to sexuality, everyone is different, and there’s no such thing as “chronic,” “normal,” etc. We don’t use those terms to indicate someone who runs several miles a day, for instance, but because of our history of discomfort about sex, judgments abound.

So your husband is like most people. Men AND women enjoy self-pleasuring as part of a variety of sexual expression. Even if you could have steak each night, that’s not to say you might not also enjoy pizza and a cheeseburger sometimes. Variety is the spice of life, no? It doesn’t mean he’s not attracted to you. And the two of you are still having mutually enjoyable sexual experiences. If he were avoiding sex with you, this might be an issue to explore--but he's not.

Remember that all our scientific data show that the people who take responsibility for their OWN pleasure have the best sex lives and rate themselves as happiest about their sexuality. Sounds like your husband is just fine, and it’s your attitude that’s the problem.

Which leads me to wondering if you’ve asked yourself where your discomfort and insecurity comes from? Are you generally insecure because you feel you might not be worthy of love? Or are there some unresolved issues in your relationship that are contributing to your sense that all is not right? If so, I encourage you to see a counselor to sort out whatever other issues you have.

Or maybe none of these are true for you, and you just needed a little reassurance that all is well. Snuggle up to your partner, tell him you adore him, and that you’re happy he is who he is: a man in love with you. And treasure your sexuality—both individually and together. Dr. J
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hi have a nice day....i am 25 years old and im not still a virgin since i was 23 years old...
this year 2010 i have new boyfriend and we have sex 2 times every 15 days.. im so wondering that while we having sex my vigina (vagina) had a blood but not too many...yesterday i are having sex again and again their is a blood appearing on my vigina (vagina)... and today this afternoon i smell something different to my vigina (vagina)... ever since this is the first time happened...otherwise theirs no pain inside or out in my vigina (vagina) im so worrying what happen to me...Miss Janice please help me...

pls tell me why causes that my vigina (vagina) had a blood while we are having sex?
i do i protect this?

please help... i cant wait this problem for a long time..... i feel sad that my vigina (vagina) smell different and this is the first time i experience....

thank you so much...
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