Why doesnt anything feel good below the belt?

[aussiecoffee]

I dont know if its a nerve problem, or why I could lose sensation below the belt, but for some reason, nothing ever feels good down there. it just feels awkward and uncomfortable. i have never orgasmed, or never even be physically turned on, because nothing feels good down there. i really want to know whats going on with me.

[dbar65]

You have to check out InvigoRest.  It works fast and effectively to increase your libido, naturally.  There

[Pepper Schwartz, Ph.D.]

If you have no feeling whatsoever, I think you really must get yourself to a doctor who specializes in sex therapy and endocrinology.  There are only two apparent reasons I can think of that might explain this - but a doctor might be able to look at other areas of functioning to come up with another answer. I would think this is either because of some psychological trauma ( like sexual abuse, rape, etc) that would require the services of a therapist- or some hormone problem. If it is a hormone problem there are a number of theraputic interventions that might help.  This is however, way too complex for me to help you with in this format, so please go see a specialist. It really is an unusual ( although not unique) situation  and you need a fully qualified person to do an in office exam and analysis.

[monkeyflower]

A previous poster wrote, "sometimes religious conditioning against sex can result in shame about one's sexuality." I completely agree. That can certainly result in your tuning out whenever you're in a sexual situation--whether you're aware of it or not. I seriously doubt your lack of pleasure has a physical cause. I think you'd benefit most from talking with a sex therapist.

In the meantime, do you masturbate? If you don't, I'd start there. Get a mirror, relax, and take some time to look at your genitals. Try different touches, strokes, pressure, speed; use lube, don't use lube, try a vibrator. Spend some time really paying attention to your body and its sensations. And since Betty Dodson is the godmother of masturbation, lol, check out her site: www.bettydodson.com, and her books, "Sex for One" and "Orgasms for Two". Also, try "For Yourself" by Lonnie Barbach. Good luck!

[jenniferolivebridge]

if you have had no sexual partners, only foreplay, i would say that your lack of feeling down there has a lot to do with your lack of comfort and age. I never really enjoyed sex until i was with the right person and even then it took time for me to relax enough to enjoy it, then you will surprise yourself!

let yourself grow into your sexuality, dont rush it or get discouraged when things feel uncomfortable, these things take time for some.

[PyroG]

if this helps: i am exactly the same way as sadwife, i also respond best to "feather-light" pressure until i am almost there.  since you said you've never had an orgasm and nothing arouses you, you should probably start by finding out what does turn you on.  that's the fuel that makes your sex parts work!  look in places you don't expect.  maybe you are turned on by the same gender and haven't realized it yet.  even if it's just in fantasy, it may be enough to get your motor going so you can have fun playing with another person, no matter what sex they are.  look around for erotica, sexy pictures, descriptions of sexy situations.  wait until you feel stimulated before you touch yourself.  using lube can make the touching feel alot better.  if you are really having trouble feeling turned on by anything, you may be a late bloomer in terms of sex drive.  i wasn't, but i definitely noticed a boost after i turned 30.  i did have a friend who didn't have any physical sexual urges at all until her mid 20's.  by all means don't assume that your sexual development is going to progress at the same pace as everyone else you know.  there may be some emotional situations in your personal background that resulted in repression of your sexual feelings.  if you have access to counseling you might want to consider that.  you mention your parents are very conservative christians.  sometimes religious conditioning against sex can result in shame about one's sexuality.  i don't know what their attitude is about sex specifically, but certainly everyone's parents' position on sex can affect how they turn out.

[Idunno22]

Are you on any type of bc? Some bc methods will decrease libido, and sex drive....just wondering

[aussiecoffee]

no im not on any sort of bc, and ive had no sexual partners--but fingering and all that stuff doesnt feel good, just weird. awkward and uncomfortable. and no, my doctor is good friends with my parents who are ultra conservative christians, so...

[sadwife2006]

Nothing includes what...How many partners? Have you ever masturbated? Oral never used to feel good for me until I found someone who knew what they were doing. Also, I learned that I am sensitive and things that are softer at frist work best. Things that are too intense feel uncomfortable for me until I am almost "there". Also, try fantasizing. That never used to work for me but I actually started about women and stuff and it started working. All I can say is try lots of different things...Have you spoken to a doctor?