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Why this desire?
I'm not sure if there is anyone here who is professionally qualified to answer my question, but I offer it up for what it is and I respect and take into consideration all opinions. I won't be offended by any respectful responses, so please respond freely. I'm a 30 yr old male and I'm looking for insight on a sexual desire. I masturbate once or twice a day, I use pornography, and this seems to be the case whether I'm in a relationship or not. Four out of ten times I masturbate to transsexual pornography and I'm concerned with why? I Don't consider myself homosexual, I'm not attracted to men, and if, when I'm looking at transsexuals, I have the slightest indication that the photograph resembles a man instead of a beautiful woman w/a penis I become disgusted. Now, I must offer that I am extremely attracted to women, flirtatious, charming, very sexual and have had some awesome long term relationships. But I was also molested on 3 different occasions, twice as a child and once as an adolescent, once by a male stranger and twice by male cousins. Never penetration, but fondled and oral. As a child I said nothing, but as an adolescent I made it known. Family members swept it under the rug, but he was later caught doing it again and went to prison. Why am I attracted to transsexuals?
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Hi.
Sounds to me like you’ve discovered a hot fantasy. The fantasies that turn us on the most are often the ones that are most forbidden or have some "charge" around them. For instance, it’s quite common for Lesbians to be very turned on by the fantasy of having sex with a man. This doesn’t mean they actually want to have sex with one—but since it’s forbidden, it’s quite hot.
The more you worry about this and the more taboo it is, the more arousing it may be for you. But relax. It probably means nothing. You’ve just discovered some feelings that are very common. Most people have the potential to be turned on by many things, given the right situation—especially in fantasy.
And please don't apologize for your interest in and desire of, partnered sex and/or self-pleasuring. Both are a pleasurable part of life, and being interested in them simply means you're alive and healthy and your body is functioning.
Regarding your history: This is way too complicated an issue to discuss in this format, and I know the temptation is to link everything to unpleasant past experiences, but this isn’t always the case; your past nonconsensual experiences may have nothing to do with your current fantasy.
Aren’t we more than just what we do with our crotch? Unless your fantasy life is causing you some pain and interfering with your relationships, why not just relax and be who you are? And please don’t let anyone tell you there’s something “wrong” with you. Best of luck to you. Dr. J
Sounds to me like you’ve discovered a hot fantasy. The fantasies that turn us on the most are often the ones that are most forbidden or have some "charge" around them. For instance, it’s quite common for Lesbians to be very turned on by the fantasy of having sex with a man. This doesn’t mean they actually want to have sex with one—but since it’s forbidden, it’s quite hot.
The more you worry about this and the more taboo it is, the more arousing it may be for you. But relax. It probably means nothing. You’ve just discovered some feelings that are very common. Most people have the potential to be turned on by many things, given the right situation—especially in fantasy.
And please don't apologize for your interest in and desire of, partnered sex and/or self-pleasuring. Both are a pleasurable part of life, and being interested in them simply means you're alive and healthy and your body is functioning.
Regarding your history: This is way too complicated an issue to discuss in this format, and I know the temptation is to link everything to unpleasant past experiences, but this isn’t always the case; your past nonconsensual experiences may have nothing to do with your current fantasy.
Aren’t we more than just what we do with our crotch? Unless your fantasy life is causing you some pain and interfering with your relationships, why not just relax and be who you are? And please don’t let anyone tell you there’s something “wrong” with you. Best of luck to you. Dr. J
Thank you very much Dr. J. That was very insightful for me and a bit relieving.
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