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Sexuality & Relationships (Expert Forum)
am i ok?
Answered by
Pepper Schwartz, Ph.D. - Sexuality, family, Sexual Identity
This forum is for questions and support regarding relationship issues such as: Abstinence, Arousal Problems, Birth Control, Cohabitation, Commitment, Communication, Couples Counseling, Desire /Lack of Desire, Sexual Technique.
am i ok?
by stupid123, Sep 10, 2006 12:00AM
Hi, i am completely lost. I and my boyfriend got intimate and and got involved. I have no clue if i am still virgin or not. He tried to insert his penis and it went little inside. It was little painful and i didn't want to go any further, so we stopped but when i went to washroom i found blood probably equal to a drop( very light in colour) on the tissue paper i used. i don't know if i got any bruise or if i have lost my virginity.
there was no further blood flow but i am still confused. i don't know what to and who to ask. It was my first time and i don;t know what its like.
Please help me!!!
there was no further blood flow but i am still confused. i don't know what to and who to ask. It was my first time and i don;t know what its like.
Please help me!!!
Doctor's Answer
by Pepper Schwartz, Ph.D., Sep 12, 2006 12:00AM
, Sep 12, 2006 12:00AMVirginity is a relative term. In some countries, the very fact that you were alone in a room with a man would mean you were no longer a virgin. In other places it's a technical term- is the hyman intact or not? If it is, no matter what you did , you are a virgin ( for example, you could have had anal sex and they would say you were a virgin!)
Because you are a virgin, the vaginal opening is very tight and unless there was a lot of lubrication ( either artificial or your own moisture that appears if you are sexually excited) it would be harsh on the soft tissues of the inside of the vagina. The blood could have been the result of a lot of friction on the sides of the vagina- or you could have torn the hyman, the thin piece of tissue that blocks entrance to the deeper vaginal barrel. Either one could cause a little bleeding and from this far, I certainly couldn't tell what the cause of the bleeding actually was.
If it were my call, I'd put this under the " fooling around" category and still declare you virginal. But honestly, is that important? Only if you- or the person you are with- makes it a big deal. It sounds like you are well on your way to getting rid of your virginity--and all I care about is that you use a condom so that you will not get infected ( or infect him) with any unfriendly bacteria ( or catch anything viral diseases which can really be nasty). Be careful, admit that you are exploring your sexuality right now, and watch your health. if you do want to start having intercourse- use lubricated condoms or buy a stand alone lubricant you like-- that is rubber friendly ( some kinds of lubricants will degrade a condom and make it useless- so always look at the label to see if it says safe with condoms and contains no petroleum products..)
Good luck, be safe. And make sure that you are having this experience with someone you care about and who cares deeply about you too!!
if you were not ready for sex, then why did you? NEVER let a guy push you into anything you are NOT comforatble with.