anal sex

my boyfriend want me to have anal and i scared it will hurt what could i use so it does not hurt ?

[Janice M Epp, PhD]

Hi.

Many people greatly enjoy anal stimulation—whether with a tongue, finger, penis or dildo. This is a sexual activity that requires lots of good technique and communication. Most of the following information applies to both sexes.

The anus is a very tight orifice. The keys to anal sex are 1) lots of lube (the anus doesn’t produce its own lubrication), 2) lots of stimulation of the anal area (to relax that tight sphincter) and 3) gentle, slow penetration, not just ramming it in. Start gradually and slowly, first with just a finger, and then if you mutually decide on penis insertion, do that very slowly as well. It’s OK if you discover that you only want to be penetrated by something small, rather than something a bit more “important” like a penis. Be sure you and your partner are communicating during anal sex; tell your partner if you experience pain or if something doesn't feel good so that you can stop or go slower. It’s OK that it only feels good up to 3 inches or so. Many people find deep penetration painful, but enjoy shallow penetration with a finger or other small object.

Very important: The anus is a very tight orifice, and tears easily, leaving it vulnerable to infection, so BE SURE to use a condom. And don’t put anything in your vagina that has first been in the anus (fingers, toys, penises, etc.) without using a new condom, because the bacteria that live in the anus can be harmful to the vaginal environment, which can cause various unpleasant side effects like yeast infections. Good luck. Dr. J

[Vance2335]

It probably will hurt, even with lube. But if you want to try it again try a water based lube.

[Ron888]

You may want to try using fingers first to help you relax first, then it won't hurt as much.