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1925157 tn?1328929017

boyfriends attitude towards me

My boyfriend and I have been together since march of this year, we've been through A LOT with in that time period and are now expecting a baby on June 1st. I know we became too close too quickly in our relationship, but two months after we started dating we were both kicked out of our homes. So we stayed with a co-worker of mine for about 3 months, and in those three months I questioned myself about him and if I wanted to be with him because he was not faithful. At all, he treated me great. But he would always go behind my back he pshyically cheated on me 3 times before we moved in together at my coworkers house. And I had not found out about til until then. He did not confess about them either, I had found out about them on my own. And when I found out about the third one I was done. But at that time he had actually became attached to me and felt that he truely loved me because one I have been one of the only females to stick by his side throughout his compulsive lying and bullsh*ting. I don't know why I did it. I felt that I had grisly love him as well. Once we moved out of that house our relationship got strong and has continued to get stronger over time. He still lies, about the stupid things, but I have caught on to how he lies by then. And he can't get away with it anymore. But now we have our own apartment, and are four months pregnant he is very excited and tells me all the time how much he really loves me and is happy I stayed with him and how sorry he is for the past. But randomly he will get this twelve year old attitude and I'm getting completely sick of it. He will mock me like a little kid does and if he is yelling and thinks he's completely right about the situation he will repeat himself like a broken record and not stop until I stop talking. So I've been getting the attitude back lately, I won't mock him and do the childish things he does but I will have an attitude. I know Its just egging thongs on so sometimes ill just sit there and ignore the situation. My question is how do I deal with this or get him to stop and be more adult? And also, we have one car between the two of us. I own the car and my name is the only name on the title, but we both drive it. But when he drives it, I get very stressed out and nervous. It's not that he's a bad driver, but he's also not the best. My car also seems as though its holding on by its last strands, Haha and everytime he drives it it seems to get worse. How do I tell him that his driving makes me feel this way with out him getting his attitude I told you about, or him get extremely up set and start a fight?    I've tried before but he just gets that attitude.

Thank you
Kelsey.  
3 Responses
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523042 tn?1212177895
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Hello.

What you're describing is typical of a beginning relationship among young people. Neither of you knows how to communicate your feelings in an honest, caring way. Now that you have a child on the way, you'll need to acquire this skill ASAP, because you'll both need each others' support and love more than ever.

Most of us get the idea that just because we love someone, everything will be "happily ever after." In fact, nothing could be further from the truth. Relationships need lots of care and feeding, i.e., honest communication. This doesn't have to be a chore. In fact, once you get the hang of it, it can be lots of fun and can contribute to a feeling of intimacy and strength.

So drop the attitude and ask your partner for a chat. Talk to him in a non-confrontational way about how you feel. And only use "I" statements. That means instead of accusing him of things, you tell him how YOU feel when he treats you a certain way. Don't attack him--all he'll do is defend--and then you don't have a relationship; you have a war. Here's an example of honest, non-confrontational communication:

Honey, when you mock me, I feel devalued, and I also feel afraid you don't love me. It feels really bad when you do that.

Don't be angry; be concerned. The key here is to get him to open up to you in the same way so that the two of you can figure out how both of you can make this better. Remember that in relationships, no one's feelings are wrong. He may be feeling defensive because of your approach. Or he may not have any experience taking criticism. Either way, the two of you need to work this out so that you child will be raised in a happy home. If you aren't able to talk with each other, you might consider finding a counselor who can help you do so. Best of luck to you. Dr. J
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1925157 tn?1328929017
Anyone ? :/
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1925157 tn?1328929017
Truely not grisly sorry.
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