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Sexuality & Relationships (Expert Forum)
how do i stop masterbation(masturbation)
Answered by
Janice M Epp, PhD - Female sexual issues, Adolescent sexuality, Male sexual issues
Private Practice
Palo Alto - CA
This forum is for questions and support regarding relationship issues such as: Abstinence, Arousal Problems, Birth Control, Cohabitation, Commitment, Communication, Couples Counseling, Desire /Lack of Desire, Sexual Technique.
how do i stop masterbation(masturbation)
by beruka, Oct 11, 2009 04:02PM
first thx for taking ur time to read this my quetion is i hv been mastrbating since i was 15 im allmost 20 now i hvnt seen any effect on my body but in my mind im filing guilt evry time i do it .i do it all most 3 times a day plase help me and tell me how to stop it in my country its very hard to talk about this caus it is concidred as saham.thank u
Doctor's Answer
by Janice M Epp, PhD, Oct 12, 2009 12:32PM
, Oct 12, 2009 12:32PMTo: beruka
Hello.
I'm sorry that you've received such negative and incorrect information. Let me replace those myths with facts for you.
You can find so much misinformation on the Internet because there’s no quality control. “Over-masturbation” sites are written by people who want to sell you something, for example, herbal remedies. No medical expert recognizes “over-masturbation” because there is no scientific evidence that there is any such thing, just as there’s no such thing as “under-masturbation.” What most of these non-experts mean by “over-masturbation” is anything more than what THEY do or are comfortable with.
Let’s note the difference between a “belief” and a demonstrable fact. There are people who believe that the earth is flat, in spite of all evidence to the contrary. Similiarly, many cultures have myths that associate semen with strength. That's where discomfort with self-pleasuring comes from. None of these myths is based on any scientific research.
Self-pleasuring (masturbation) doesn’t affect your body in any negative way. As you note, however, if you feel uncomfortable about it, you can end up with feelings of guilt. These come from receiving misinformation.
Let’s talk about what we DO know about self-pleasuring.
It’s the surest way to orgasm and the most effective way to learn about our sexual response cycle, as well as the surest way men to learn orgasmic control. If you feel you come too quickly, the surest way to slow down is to teach yourself a new pattern via self-pleasuring.
Another advantage is self-knowledge: How can you show a partner what you like if you don’t know yourself?
And the #1 reason for self-pleasuring: it’s fun!
Self-pleasuring is a part of who you are sexually—for your whole life, not just when you don’t have a partner. People self-pleasure from birth to death, when they’re alone and when they’re partnered. It’s just one of many options we have as sexual beings. It’s not better or worse than partner sex, just different—like steak is different than chicken.
Remember that all our scientific data show that the people who take responsibility for their OWN pleasure have the best sex lives and rate themselves as happiest about their sexuality. So please stop torturing yourself, accept your sexuality as a gift and start enjoying life.
Your body is working fine—it’s your heart/brain that’s getting in the way. For more information about self-pleasuring, attitude, etc., I highly recommend the book “The New Male Sexuality” by Bernie Zilbergeld, Ph.D. It’s widely available online, both used and in paperback and is an invaluable resource.
Relax, and accept yourself for who you are. Listen to your inner voice; it will tell you what's best for you. Best of luck to you. Dr. J
I'm sorry that you've received such negative and incorrect information. Let me replace those myths with facts for you.
You can find so much misinformation on the Internet because there’s no quality control. “Over-masturbation” sites are written by people who want to sell you something, for example, herbal remedies. No medical expert recognizes “over-masturbation” because there is no scientific evidence that there is any such thing, just as there’s no such thing as “under-masturbation.” What most of these non-experts mean by “over-masturbation” is anything more than what THEY do or are comfortable with.
Let’s note the difference between a “belief” and a demonstrable fact. There are people who believe that the earth is flat, in spite of all evidence to the contrary. Similiarly, many cultures have myths that associate semen with strength. That's where discomfort with self-pleasuring comes from. None of these myths is based on any scientific research.
Self-pleasuring (masturbation) doesn’t affect your body in any negative way. As you note, however, if you feel uncomfortable about it, you can end up with feelings of guilt. These come from receiving misinformation.
Let’s talk about what we DO know about self-pleasuring.
It’s the surest way to orgasm and the most effective way to learn about our sexual response cycle, as well as the surest way men to learn orgasmic control. If you feel you come too quickly, the surest way to slow down is to teach yourself a new pattern via self-pleasuring.
Another advantage is self-knowledge: How can you show a partner what you like if you don’t know yourself?
And the #1 reason for self-pleasuring: it’s fun!
Self-pleasuring is a part of who you are sexually—for your whole life, not just when you don’t have a partner. People self-pleasure from birth to death, when they’re alone and when they’re partnered. It’s just one of many options we have as sexual beings. It’s not better or worse than partner sex, just different—like steak is different than chicken.
Remember that all our scientific data show that the people who take responsibility for their OWN pleasure have the best sex lives and rate themselves as happiest about their sexuality. So please stop torturing yourself, accept your sexuality as a gift and start enjoying life.
Your body is working fine—it’s your heart/brain that’s getting in the way. For more information about self-pleasuring, attitude, etc., I highly recommend the book “The New Male Sexuality” by Bernie Zilbergeld, Ph.D. It’s widely available online, both used and in paperback and is an invaluable resource.
Relax, and accept yourself for who you are. Listen to your inner voice; it will tell you what's best for you. Best of luck to you. Dr. J
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grace
its a tuff battle but it can be done