This forum is for questions and support regarding relationship issues such as: Abstinence, Arousal Problems, Birth Control, Cohabitation, Commitment, Communication, Couples Counseling, Desire /Lack of Desire, Sexual Technique.
If you're turned on, you'll lubricate. It's as simple as that. EXCEPT: there are certain birth control pills can can affect lubrication, as can certain medical conditions. If you suspect this is the case of you, you need to see your gynecologist for a check-up. If you don't have one, go to your nearest women's clinic or Planned Parenthood.
However, the most common reason women don't get wet is because they're not turned on. I'm wondering if you're really into being sexual with your partner, or whether it's his (or her) idea and you're just going along with it and hoping to get turned on.
Another reason for lack of lubrication is fear and anxiety. I’m wondering if you’ve received messages that sex is somehow dirty, harmful or wrong, or whether you’ve experienced something traumatic in your past that is causing you to fear sex. It can be difficult to truly let go of negative messages about sex as well as past fears unless you have an opportunity to talk about them and process the experience so you can move past it.
Another possible factor: What are the conditions like when you’re being sexual? Are you turned on, and are you ready for sex? As I stated above, some women let their partners make all the sexual decisions, including when to be sexual. If you’re not lubricated and turned on, this can be painful. In addition, if your partner has little or no sexual experience and you haven't shared your likes and dislikes, he or she might not be aware of how you like to be touched, what turns you on, etc.
If you’re aroused but you still don't lubricate, try using a lubricant developed especially for women. I recommend Replens, available at your drugstore. Realize that it takes time to relax and learn about your body and its responses. But anything worthwhile takes a little time and practice, no? Dr. J
Maybe this is because ur concentrating on the fact ur about to have sex I was exaclly the same, I didn't no why I was like that till I realised if u relax more and go with flow an don't jus decide were goin to have sex work ur way up to having sex, interact more an you will changes babe x
But won't talking to my husband about it just make him pity me? It ***** that sometimes I feel dirty and that the only way to go about it is when were celebrating, in this case, when I'm drinking--a lot.
I noticed whenever I'm sober with him--and throughout this pregnancy--I've been avoiding sex or using lube. I want to be able to get horny without having anything reminding me of anything I don't want to remember.
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