Aa
how will sex issues change our relationship
im a 19 year old virgin and my fiance is a 25 year old sexually active man,he has been with three women so he is not a sex expert and not a virgin either.
its a big deal for me to have sex,well because its against my religion and culture,but abstinence is not working for me anymore,it is very hard to get,physically intimate yet keep the boundaries and limits in order you know?
i have changed my mind many many times about having sex with him,not because im not sure if he is the right person but because of the safe sex issues
i hear every day that people get pregnant on pills AND condoms,which scares me even more,i cant afford a pregnancy
but this is way to stressful,i want him physically,but i dont know how risky it will be even tho we HAVE agreed that if we EVER decide to have sex before marriage ( which we plan on in like 8 monthsish so timing and seriousness of the relationship is not an issue either ) IT IS going to be with me on pill and him on condom,still,i feel like im not safe enough,its an issue that i know will hunt me even after we get married cause i do not want a child at all
what should i do?
its a big deal for me to have sex,well because its against my religion and culture,but abstinence is not working for me anymore,it is very hard to get,physically intimate yet keep the boundaries and limits in order you know?
i have changed my mind many many times about having sex with him,not because im not sure if he is the right person but because of the safe sex issues
i hear every day that people get pregnant on pills AND condoms,which scares me even more,i cant afford a pregnancy
but this is way to stressful,i want him physically,but i dont know how risky it will be even tho we HAVE agreed that if we EVER decide to have sex before marriage ( which we plan on in like 8 monthsish so timing and seriousness of the relationship is not an issue either ) IT IS going to be with me on pill and him on condom,still,i feel like im not safe enough,its an issue that i know will hunt me even after we get married cause i do not want a child at all
what should i do?
I can not answer you question medically however spiritually, I think that you need to focus on just relaxing we are told in Gods word to be anxious for nothing and know this that you can use all of the methods of protection there is but if God desires for you to become pregnant you will do what you can but do not stress because it's not in your hands in the first place and remember that if God allows it if He brings you too it then He will take you through it. I am not encouraging you to go outstide of what you have been taught because fornication is a sin as we all know but sex is also a part of life wait until you are married if you can I know I wish I did and then enjoy life with your HUSBAND something that God honours it's not for you to be stressed out about.
Hope this helps and God bless you I will pray for an easy decision for you.
Hope this helps and God bless you I will pray for an easy decision for you.
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Hello.
There are several issues here, which you might want to examine. The first is the obvious disconnect between something you've been taught to "believe" and what your body/heart/mind is telling is the right path for you. No one can tell you what decision to make. It's up to you. However, it may help you to examine where these messages come from and how you feel about them, given the fact that you have a strong sexual desire.
Often, women grow up in environments which deny female sexuality and impart messages that sex is somehow bad, wrong, sinful, etc. for women, unless done in marriage and for children. This belief is grounded in past traditions in which women were seen as property and thus, it was necessary to guard them from sexuality.
It might help you to examine how you feel about this.
Whatever decision you come to, you will be advantaged by educating yourself about the most effective forms of contraception so that you can make an informed decision.
If you are still unsure of your decision, I suggest speaking with a counselor trained to help people with sexual concerns. Best of luck to you. Dr. J
There are several issues here, which you might want to examine. The first is the obvious disconnect between something you've been taught to "believe" and what your body/heart/mind is telling is the right path for you. No one can tell you what decision to make. It's up to you. However, it may help you to examine where these messages come from and how you feel about them, given the fact that you have a strong sexual desire.
Often, women grow up in environments which deny female sexuality and impart messages that sex is somehow bad, wrong, sinful, etc. for women, unless done in marriage and for children. This belief is grounded in past traditions in which women were seen as property and thus, it was necessary to guard them from sexuality.
It might help you to examine how you feel about this.
Whatever decision you come to, you will be advantaged by educating yourself about the most effective forms of contraception so that you can make an informed decision.
If you are still unsure of your decision, I suggest speaking with a counselor trained to help people with sexual concerns. Best of luck to you. Dr. J
thank you,no he is not sexually active,but he has been in the past,
i do want children just not at this point or in the next 2 years.
i am willing to have sex with him but i think my problem is im way too OCD and over think the consequences of my action.
his job doesnt help,he is in military so we get to see eachother for a couple of days every few months,and ironically enough its me who cant wait,not him,he has been in a sexless relationship for me for a year and a half he think he can do it for more,me?i dont think i can
i keep changing my mind cause i want this to be as safe as possible
over all i have come to conclusion that using three methods, natural aka pull out, condoms and birth control bring down the chances of getting pregnant to like 1% but i hear how people got pregnant while on birth control and using a condom and it scares me ********
i do want children just not at this point or in the next 2 years.
i am willing to have sex with him but i think my problem is im way too OCD and over think the consequences of my action.
his job doesnt help,he is in military so we get to see eachother for a couple of days every few months,and ironically enough its me who cant wait,not him,he has been in a sexless relationship for me for a year and a half he think he can do it for more,me?i dont think i can
i keep changing my mind cause i want this to be as safe as possible
over all i have come to conclusion that using three methods, natural aka pull out, condoms and birth control bring down the chances of getting pregnant to like 1% but i hear how people got pregnant while on birth control and using a condom and it scares me ********
If you waited this long and it is because of your culture and religion that you waited, why not wait until you are married. If you made it this long and you plan to get maried in about a year, please follow your beliefs and wait.
Hi, I'm proud that you made the decision to wait until your married! I struggled with that in my past too, I am a Christian and believed to wait also. Well it was hard to so we decided to get married asap. If you are not wanting to have a child now, or ever, I would suggest and IUD. They place it up in you and its good for 5-10 yrs, you dont have to get it checked and its safe. That way you won't have to use Birth control or a condomn. They are like 99% effective. You just go to the doctors and it takes 5 min, pain free. You said this guy is sexually active, is he still sleeping with other women? That would be a deal breaker right there. hope this helps
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Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
Discharge often isn't normal, and could mean an infection or an STD.
STDs aren't transmitted through clothing. Fabric is a germ barrier.
Normal vaginal discharge varies in color, smell, texture and amount.
