Hi Cathy: The clitoris’ nature and structure has been misunderstood for so long that it’s not surprising that there’s so much confusion!
A major difference between women and men is that generally, the clitoris needs constant direct or indirect stimulation, unlike the penis. For most women, orgasm results from a constant circular motion around the shaft and glans (or head) of the clitoris. Also important is that once a woman’s orgasm begins, if the stimulation is removed, the orgasm will end. In contrast, once men have that first orgasmic contraction, not even a neutron bomb will stop their orgasm!
While many women enjoy p-v sex, for at least 40-50% of them, it usually doesn’t result in orgasm. Why? Because most p-v sex doesn’t provide the steady pressure and reliable stimulation women need for orgasm. During p-v sex, most men use an “in-out” motion that feels great for them, instead of the circular grinding motion that will stimulate the clitoris. So how about trading off once in awhile? Him first; then you—or vice-versa?
Of course, once you put pressure on yourself to orgasm, it can become a duty rather than a pleasure. Some people become so orgasm-focused that sex becomes downright predictable, especially in long-term relationships. However, if you and your partner are flexible and experimental, you’ll both have smiles on your faces as the years go by.
Some positions which can maximize clitoral stimulation are:
• Woman on top, where you can control both the angle and depth
Woman sitting on top, where either you or your partner can stimulate your clitoris
• “Scissors”: Side-by-side facing each other, with one of his legs between yours
• Rear entry (man behind), where he can also manually stimulate your clitoris, or you can stimulate yourself.
For maximum clitoral stimulation, your partner should NOT go in and out, but rather should use a grinding motion or, if possible, just stay still, pressing firmly inside you while letting you do the moving around him.
One last important point: Lack of lubrication can irritate your delicate skin, so be sure you’re wet. There are lots of good lubes available, so check them out. You want one that has no alcohol or perfume (alcohol irritates those delicate membranes). Have fun! Dr. J
Don't worry, you are more than normal.
THIS is interesting:
http://www.feministezine.com/feminist/modern/The-Myth-ofthe-Vaginal-Orgasm.html
I can only orgasm clitorally and I have had my fair share of partners and ONE only ONE I have been able to clitorally orgasm with but here's why:
1. I was on top and did the controlling, i.e. clitoral stimulation against his pubic bone.
2. He stayed hard for a long time.
3. I think I may have some kind of S&M thing b/c that Man used to beat meeee.
So, yeah, I'm all screwed up about it over here, too, just wanna let u know u r not alone and by God if u can get it done yourself, at least u have that!
And what rilbrianne said is sooo true!!
Go get 'em girl!