This forum is for questions and support regarding relationship issues such as: Abstinence, Arousal Problems, Birth Control, Cohabitation, Commitment, Communication, Couples Counseling, Desire /Lack of Desire, Sexual Technique.
hi i was just wondering i dont know if its me or him....but everytime i have sex with my husband it hurts really bad like it wont go in all the way it hurts as its going in...is it because he is to big its always been this way and we have been togather for 6 yrs now. we just have a hard time making it go in we use alot of lube and stuff to try to make it easier but it doesnt seem to help very well it takes like 6 min for him to be completly in and during sex it always seems to kinda hurt. i just started using condoms again to protect me from getting pregnant again i just recently had a baby 1month ago via c-section and prior to having him i wasnt using anything no need to obviously i was already pregnant and after sex i would hurt really bad it would just sting down there i dont know what the cause of this was. and now with condoms it jst burns really bad to urinate what is the cause of that???
Let’s face it: sometimes our anatomy needs a little help. It’s true that your vagina may be a bit tight, and perhaps your husband’s girth is a bit large for you. This just means that you’re going to have to be sure that you’re totally turned on before you have p-v sex. During sexual response, the vagina expands and relaxes, but only during a highly aroused state. So if you’re having p-v sex before your body is ready, it can be painful. Try lots of stimulation in and around the opening and be sure you’re REALLY, REALLY turned on. And remember that your head needs to be turned on in order for your body to follow. Is anything getting in the way for you?
It sounds as though your urethra is also being irritated—again this might be from too much friction without being turned on enough.
You might also try different condoms and lube because sometimes you can develop an allergy to them. Try polyurethane condoms instead of latex and see if this makes a difference. Also ask your pharmacist for a lube that contains a lower formulation of Nonoxynol-9 (spermicide). If none of the above helps, see your gynecologist for an exam to rule out any physiological causes. Good luck to you. Dr. J
My girlfriend and I expereinced the same problem. I used to only finger her with one finger because otherwise it was painful for her, and when we tried to have sex the first few times, she experienced a great deal of pain. What worked for us was using foreplay as a way to "loosen her up". I start off by fingering her using one finger only, after about a minute or so of stimulating her with in and out motions, I start using a 2nd finger by putting both my index and midde finger in her vagina real slowly. She experiences slight pain at first, but once i get both fingers in, I VERYslowly start move my fingers in and out and eventually I reach "full speed". By then i can usually stick up to 3 fingers in her vagina without her experiencing any pain at all. After this, we proceed with regular sex. I once again have to start off very slow while sticking my penis into her vagina but after a couple slow thrusts in and out , she experiences no pain what so ever.
I highly encourage you and your husband to try this method. It takes a lot of time, but is highly successful and rewarding. Just remember that your own vaginal lubricant is what makes your vagina ready for sex, and it may take a lot of arousal to achieve this. So take your time while having foreplay/sex and enjoy it. I know your husband probably won't mind arousing you, and i know for certain you won't mind either.
After I got married 19 years ago, my wife also had broblems with pain if I tried to insert my penis. We tried many times, but it kept feeling painful to my wife.
It may sound strange to you but I'm a male with an average to smaller size penis then others.
As my wife continued to have pain, both she and I went to our doctor and asked what might be the cause. It was noted that the size of my penis was avera and therefore could not be the cause.
Our doctor then decided to give us medication to clear up a yeast infection. Even though an infection was not able to be detected, there was evidence that my wife did. Both of use had to use Canastan. I am uncircumcised and was told that it was possible that I would carry the infection to only pass it back to my wife. I had asked of things would have been different if I was circumcised. The answer was no.
My wife still gets bouts of yeast infections on occation. Even thoug it seemed that I had no symptoms, it I waslikely that I was the source of the infections.
I had a history of using large dosis of antibiotics, due to the fact that I used to come down with kidney infections and other UTI.
Antibiotics can be the source of yeast infections. Whenever my wife experienc pain again, both of us need to medications to deal with this.
Getting checked for yeast infection might be of benefit for you and your husband. Both of you need to be on medication, to clear it up.
I also urge both of you to see a doctor to determine what might be the cause of your discomfort. It might also be of benefit if both of you woulb able to consult with a female doctor. I would think that she might be a better judge whether penis size might be the problem.
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