Aa
need help with sex
hi,
Last night my boyfriend told me that he really cared about me and loved me,(which i totally believe),and that he would really like to have sex. I totally agree with him i Love him so much and really care about him to and would also like to have sex with him but i am not on birth control of any kind and dont really want to be pregnant as a Junior in High School. i dont know what to do i really like him and really wanna have sex please help me!!
My friends at school do it all the time too and i guess they are just really lucky cuz they dont have the pill either but they dont get pregnant even thought they have it every weekend at parties!! I need Help!!!???
Thank you!!
Last night my boyfriend told me that he really cared about me and loved me,(which i totally believe),and that he would really like to have sex. I totally agree with him i Love him so much and really care about him to and would also like to have sex with him but i am not on birth control of any kind and dont really want to be pregnant as a Junior in High School. i dont know what to do i really like him and really wanna have sex please help me!!
My friends at school do it all the time too and i guess they are just really lucky cuz they dont have the pill either but they dont get pregnant even thought they have it every weekend at parties!! I need Help!!!???
Thank you!!
I have 6 daughters and everyone of them would tell you that they wished they had waited till they got married before having sex. I know that it can be hard to do but just think how special it would be then. Once you do it, you can't take it back and that is something so very special. If the woman on here were truly honest they would tell you to wait. Believe me it can affect your self worth. I am a man,father and grandfather and yes I may be old but I have not nor would I ever have or had sex with a virgin and yes it was hard to do but it was worth it all the way.Good wishes on your decision.
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Hi there.
While I'm sure you appreciate all the other comments, it really boils down to what caca325 said, and that's the fact that it is YOUR decision to make. This is one of the most important decisions you will make in your life. However, like everything else in life, you need to make an informed decision, based on rational thinking and facts. You're hovering on the edge of adulthood, and it's time to be an adult about this.
Let's look at the issues here.
First, when you say you want to "have sex," I'm assuming you mean penis-vagina sex (p-v). Realize that there are lots of ways to be sexual and close with a partner that don't involve risky activities. Do you enjoy touching and being touched? Have you had orgasms, and if so, by what means? If not, you might want to explore other ways to be sexual with yourself and partner before you make the big p-v decision.
Anyone deciding to have p-v must be mature enough to take responsibility for risk reduction and birth control. That means the two of you talking about it and visiting your local clinic (Planned Parenthood or similar) to find which options would work best for you. Deciding on a form of risk reduction and birth control involves looking at cost, effectiveness, ease of use and, most important, whether you can keep such use private (unless, of course, you have very progressive parents who will support your decision). To think you won't get pregnant because none of your friends have is to think like a 10-year-old. If you're old enough to be sexual, you're old enough to take responsibility. If you still want to live in a dream world, you're not ready.
Others have commented on your boyfriend's motives. When you're in your teens, your entire body is telling you it's your job to have sex, and all the media, etc. are telling you there's only one "real" way to have sex. Nothing could be further from the truth. But right now, it sounds pretty hot, right? I wonder how your boyfriend will respond if you tell him you'd like to explore other ways to be sexual? This might be a good indicator of whether he truly cares about you.
Your next step is to educate yourself. Go to scarleteen.com, which has lots of helpful information about the above topics. I recommend it highly. Lots of teens write in to the site to share their experiences, and you'll find you're not alone. Best of luck to you. Dr. J
While I'm sure you appreciate all the other comments, it really boils down to what caca325 said, and that's the fact that it is YOUR decision to make. This is one of the most important decisions you will make in your life. However, like everything else in life, you need to make an informed decision, based on rational thinking and facts. You're hovering on the edge of adulthood, and it's time to be an adult about this.
Let's look at the issues here.
First, when you say you want to "have sex," I'm assuming you mean penis-vagina sex (p-v). Realize that there are lots of ways to be sexual and close with a partner that don't involve risky activities. Do you enjoy touching and being touched? Have you had orgasms, and if so, by what means? If not, you might want to explore other ways to be sexual with yourself and partner before you make the big p-v decision.
Anyone deciding to have p-v must be mature enough to take responsibility for risk reduction and birth control. That means the two of you talking about it and visiting your local clinic (Planned Parenthood or similar) to find which options would work best for you. Deciding on a form of risk reduction and birth control involves looking at cost, effectiveness, ease of use and, most important, whether you can keep such use private (unless, of course, you have very progressive parents who will support your decision). To think you won't get pregnant because none of your friends have is to think like a 10-year-old. If you're old enough to be sexual, you're old enough to take responsibility. If you still want to live in a dream world, you're not ready.
Others have commented on your boyfriend's motives. When you're in your teens, your entire body is telling you it's your job to have sex, and all the media, etc. are telling you there's only one "real" way to have sex. Nothing could be further from the truth. But right now, it sounds pretty hot, right? I wonder how your boyfriend will respond if you tell him you'd like to explore other ways to be sexual? This might be a good indicator of whether he truly cares about you.
Your next step is to educate yourself. Go to scarleteen.com, which has lots of helpful information about the above topics. I recommend it highly. Lots of teens write in to the site to share their experiences, and you'll find you're not alone. Best of luck to you. Dr. J
I want to answer your question without any biased opinion, so only have sex if it is something YOU COMPLETELY want. It's not about anyone but YOU, no one can tell you when to have sex. However have you ever masturbated or had oral sex? Sometimes these things should be done or explored before going the full 100 yards. I'm not sure how long you have been with this boyfriend either, but hopefully you have gave your relationship adequate time to see you both for what you are. Sex the first time for girls isn't always what you think its going to be either. As for your friends, please take note that just because a man pulls out of the womans vagina before ejaculation does not mean the girl wont get pregnant. The fluid that comes out of the penis - called pre-*** and contain small amounts of sperm. If you Google this, you will find many girls have became pregnant without protection. You should be able to get on birth control without your parents or friends knowing either, there are plenty of health and womans clinics out there - they are there for a reason! Use them! Take your boyfriend with you, you both can get alot of useful information together. www.plannedparenthood.org is great for information. If you don't feel comfortable with the pill, use a condom as it is the next best thing!
Now for my short story, I was with a guy for one year. I was 18, and I lost my virginity to him because he "loved me" well two weeks later we broke up because I didn't want to have sex so frequent. Just be careful and make sure you think things through and want it, also put your health before "his wants" as in use protection! Now i'm with a guy I've been with for 4 years and couldn't be happier, I'm comfortable and he was patient! He's an angel...
Good luck with everything and make sure it's what you really want!
Now for my short story, I was with a guy for one year. I was 18, and I lost my virginity to him because he "loved me" well two weeks later we broke up because I didn't want to have sex so frequent. Just be careful and make sure you think things through and want it, also put your health before "his wants" as in use protection! Now i'm with a guy I've been with for 4 years and couldn't be happier, I'm comfortable and he was patient! He's an angel...
Good luck with everything and make sure it's what you really want!
i'm with every one else. guys will tell you ANYTHING to get what they want! my mom made me promise her to make a guy wait one month after her asked me to be his 'steady' , and guess what, none of them ever lasted that long until i was 18. i stayed with that man for 5 years, and i am so very thankful, even now at 34 that my first time was with some one who truly loved me and respected my decision. he was a big football player and b4 me, he was a total *****, different girl in every part of the city, and when we broke up HE cried.
be firm, and wait it out, express you 'love' in ways that won't lead to children or VD
good luck!
be firm, and wait it out, express you 'love' in ways that won't lead to children or VD
good luck!
Just because he said he cares about you or loves you does not mean sex is the next step. If he loves you he will respect you and not ask you for something like sex. Just because everyone elts does it does not make it ok. You are super young and can find plenty of other ways to spend you time together. Once you do it he'll expect it. Have you heard people want what they can't have? Well if you give it up he might not be interested in you for much longer because the mystarie will be gone. I say hold off. See if he really loves you of if he just said it to get sum...
He may be telling the truth, as he feels it. Sex at your age for a guy has a lot to do with self-validation, lust and a little bit of caring for the other person and a whole lot of feeling like you would do almost anything to get into almost anyone who is females pants. Needless to say a large part of becoming a real man has to do with balancing self-control, ego and self denial.
If you want to have sex get on birth control first AND use a condom from the very start. I would advise waiting because it is easier to resist doing something that you have never done than the reverse.
If you want to have sex get on birth control first AND use a condom from the very start. I would advise waiting because it is easier to resist doing something that you have never done than the reverse.
You are reading content posted in the Sexuality & Relationships Forum
Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
Discharge often isn't normal, and could mean an infection or an STD.
STDs aren't transmitted through clothing. Fabric is a germ barrier.
Normal vaginal discharge varies in color, smell, texture and amount.
